HIGH ON LIFE!!

London

2012-01-19T06:51:00.001+05:30

We've been here only two weeks and a lot of friends have been mailing and asking me "How's London??" And I have been happily writing back loong emails describing it! That is a sign that I am happy here :)

Somehow I can "really" write when I am happy and at peace. I just cannot do it when there is something bothering me. Probably this is why I never wrote much about Philly or my life in the US.

This city makes me happy and here's why I love it :-

Disclaimer : I am mostly going to be comparing it with Philadelphia or US in general. Some of the things only a girl can understand...so if you are a man reading this, don't even bother to look for logic, coz you won't find one.

1) London feels like home! And a big part of the reason is that it looks a lot like Delhi. The ring roads and the C.P. like center city and the greenery. I immediately felt comfortable here.

2) There are people everywhere! And its not New York crowded...where people are walking to sustain their lives. Its a very different and festive crowd. The buzz feels like a big celebration all the time. N I am a sucker for crowded places! So you can imagine my delight after coming here and feeling lost in the happy crowd but still not lost in life!

3) London is fashionable! By far the most fashionable city I have seen. People are always dressed to kill. I have hardly seen any people wearing sneakers or easy jeans. Always in their lovely coats and high boots. These people make me want to lose weight and dress up all over again! They make the city look way more beautiful than it already is :)

4) I love the tube and the public transport here. You just don't need a car to go anywhere. That makes me feel very independent. I remember how in the US we couldn't have imagined a single day without our car. And public transport was bad enough to make us feel miserable. I feel a new kind of freedom here which I treasure a lot. Plus I love how much we have to walk here...I was sick of my sedentary lifestyle in Philly...It feels great to be dead tired at the end of the day!

5) The beyond amazing art scene. There are countless museums, public buildings and structures and art fairs and flea markets to check out in London. And a photography buff like me has a million things to capture everywhere. The very idea of having so much to do here makes my day :)

6) Most people are immigrants or expats. And the Indians here I feel are very comfortable in their skin. Quite unlike the Desi immigrants back in the US...who looked intimidated and worried for no reason at all. I think its because every one is an outsider here. I feel ignored and not tolerated. It feels amazing to be just another outsider in this city.

7) London is bloody expensive! More than we had ever imagined. And the houses are tiny. Esp coming from U.S. we got the shock of our lives when our property agent showed us the first house. But all these things are constantly teaching me what I needed to learn in life. Money has never been so important to me. I have stopped wasting anything. And I am learning to live within my means. And these are things I always wanted to learn...the true value of everything I have. And I hope we also learn to save and be as amazing as our parents were back in their times!

There are so many other things I want to say about London...but I guess I'll save all that for another day...may be when we are not just 2 week old Londoners anymore!

BTW, we are moving into our new house today and I am very excited. Wish us luck :)

Quick update.

2012-01-08T18:45:00.001+05:30

Our new home!

More details once we find a house! :)

Nickel n dime me!

2011-12-19T11:37:00.003+05:30

Living in the US without a dish TV connection can make you feel pretty disconnected from people back home in a very uselessly wasted way...if you know what I mean! Everybody I know has something to share about what's new on Indian TV channels. And in any conversation...I just hate to say I am clueless about the topic. I am no desi TV junkie but I watch anything that my brother or friends recommend. It somehow makes me feel more connected to my friends' world back in India. I like that.

So recently he asked me to watch this show called "Love 2 hate u". Totally seemed like one of those junk shows on mtv, but I still watched it. The show starts with a celebrity coming face to face with one of his/her biggest critics, and after that it just meanders through depths of sheer idiocy. No real result, just a silly hate-o-meter that the host abruptly ends the show with!

I happened to watch this one episode where a girl called herself the greatest critic of Chetan Bhagat. Loud disclaimer here - I do not appreciate his books in any way at all. So much that I did not mind giving away my copies of his books...which is extreme given that I don't even let anyone borrow my books.

But I am not the kinds who easily criticizes anything publicly. Or at least I no longer do that. And I think I stopped doing that way before some other people my age did. In fact I have come to be a person who doesn't have very strong views about other people's business. I feel everyone has a place in this world. I might or might not like what they do...but I am definitely ok with them doing it.

And today when I saw this girl bitterly criticizing this man for what he does, it filled me with pity for her. And then Chetan Bhagat said just what I could have never pointed out myself..."You can tell when someone is missing love in their life". Spot on.

Love, I think has a lot to do with who I am now. It made me way more tolerant than I ever was. It made me look for the positive in everything. Of course I no longer get to enjoy heated discussions about "random stuff" or prove my point to anyone anymore but I guess I can live without it. Accepting that everyone is entitled to their opinion and 'love' more importantly, has set me free!

I felt pity for her because by being obsessed with her opinion and not willing to see anyone else's perspective, she is rejecting a lot of goodness and missing out on the most beautiful things in life.

Back when I was like her, I felt like I could stay happy with just a few people who really understood me and that will be enough for life. But I realized that by being open to people's beliefs and actions, I allowed myself to grow and fill my life with a lot of peace...which I absolutely treasure now. And my relationships feel just as meaningful as ever.

I know life doesn't always stay the same. Sometimes I wish I still had the energy to speak up against things I dislike, but in a more saner state, I am glad I don't. The last thing I want is to be a prisoner in my own head.

Its nice that people change. Some of us need it.

sea salt soiree

2011-12-16T04:25:00.000+05:30

Right now I really should be doing something else, which is much much more important. But as is characteristic of me...I am sitting here, talking about something useless on my mind.

A couple of months ago in Vegas we saw a blue man group show. Not one of those highly recommended things to do, but we still went because we could not get cirque du soleil tickets. The show was ok, but there was a part of the act that was so profound that it has been etched in my mind forever.

Here it goes:-
The three main guys of the blue man group were standing on the stage with a set of huge placards each. The first placard for each man said "choose your placard right now- 1,2 or 3 and do not look at the other two cards after that. Continue to read just what is written on your chosen card."
So I chose number 2 and the man began revealing the whole set. He dropped the first card and there was some hello message on the card behind it. He dropped it again and the new one said "are you wondering what is on the other two cards?" The next one said"are you happy with your choice?" And again "are you wondering what would have happened, had chosen some other card?" and so on... What was on the rest of the pack is not important. It was just some joke, which I do not remember anymore.

But the first few ones did the trick for me. Isn't that how life is? You are faced with so many choices at each step. You consciously decide to pick a road for yourself. And then you always wonder..."what if?" rather than live your own life happily?

I can't say it for you guys but I often get such thoughts. I do know the first rule for a happy life...to never compare yourself with other people, but I just can't stop doing it. Especially these days I'm always thinking what if I had done something else instead? Would I have had all that I have now and a little more? Perfect recipe for disaster inne?

I know what the right thing for me to do is now. I know all the gyan on earth about happy living. I just wanted to open my heart out, write this here and be done with it. Yes I am guilty of having such useless thoughts and creating all the stress that comes with it. Period.

Bridge.

2011-11-16T01:59:00.001+05:30

I mostly have a lot to say. That does not mean I have a lot of meaningful things to talk about, which can be of any national, global or individual importance. I can simply blabber endlessly because I like to.

But there are other times when there is really a lot to talk about. When there are so many things happening in my life that they outnumber the fingers on both my hands. That is when I find it very difficult to talk about any one of them. Does it ever happen to you?

I think my brain fails to process so many thoughts together and the clash is a natural mute button for my system. But that information can be useful only for my husband innit?

OK if you have read this far, chances are that you will read on and are thus the dumping pot for my brain's indigestible junk today. You are welcome. Please have a seat. Today we will talk about things none of us will ever be able to make any sense of.

About 5 of the 11 things on my mind today have one thing in common and that is "bridge"...which explains the title of this post.

1) Mini Bridge - yes I have been learning Photoshop! (If you know what I mean ;)

2) Golden Gate Bridge - I am going to SFO next week! Yippee!

3) Ben Franklin Bridge - The one in Philadelphia. Last few weeks in this city. You don't know how happy I am to be saying that right now. I will miss it of course, but I'd rather be missing it than seeing it anymore!

4) Brooklyn Bridge - NYC, you will be missed. Period. That city can really work its charm on you. Oh btw the above picture is from Brooklyn Bridge which I clicked on a recent photowalk.

5) London Bridge - is falling down, falling down, la la la la...no I dint say anything at all! Did I??? I will...very soon...but this should give you some hint!

I'm happy! And this is where I'd like to end this post today!

Tada :)

Epi-funny.

2011-10-11T03:40:00.000+05:30

When you know what you want, when it is clear what you are looking for, sooner or later - you WILL find it.

Sometimes it's nice to be talking from personal experience :)

Frustrated Fotographer.

2011-10-08T09:35:00.001+05:30

No I am not a photographer. I am a fotographer who can't even spell the damn thing right!

But I definitely am frustrated. It's been 6 long years since I took my first photo as a hobbyist - with my Nokia phone - and gave my own self a pat on the back for the seemingly great talent I possessed. I duly uploaded those first few pictures on Orkut and matched them with some deep quotations searched on Google for hours. Some friends and random strangers were also kind enough to leave long comments praising my rare perspective and eye for pictures.

To cut a long story short...the world has moved from Orkut to Facebook to slavery now. And I have moved from cellphone cameras to a prosumer to now a DSLR with two powerful lenses, but not much has changed in terms of what I know about photography.

I want to take this stuff seriously...like really...but all the jargon filled tutorials on the net have made it difficult for me to go through them without having the urge to get up and make breakfast/lunch/dinner/coffee first and then sit araam se and read/see them carefully. That ofcourse happens only once in 635 days.

And everytime I come back from a self-led photowalk, I look at my pictures and think about how I am a bad photographer, a bad student, an even worse person and a total failure in life! Aaaaah...pictures definitely are powerful.

To make matters worse, hubby couldn't take my cribbing about photography and Photoshop the other day and said..."Kya big deal hai yaar? Photoshop toh barweeh paas bache ek mahine mein seekh lete hain...can't you do it??" Now that totally did it for me. I have decided that enough is enough and that I will get my act together. I definitely do not want posterity to think of great grandma as a useless woman. And thus mission PS has begun.

I just placed an order for "Photoshop for dummies" - yes desperate times call for some desperate measures. And I have willed to teach myself this freaky techie art! Now I will go make myself a cup of coffee and sit down to see a few tutorials araam se.

Things I am doing these days...

2011-09-02T09:49:00.001+05:30

In my imagination :-

1) Exercising
2) Eating healthy food
3) Living a disciplined life
4) Honing my photography skills
5) Working hard on my business idea
6) Preparing to move back to India n get my life started
7) In short, being awesome!

In reality :-

1) Planning to exercise and then finding ways to skip it
2) Eating junk...between meals and after dinner!
3) Not sleeping all night and then waking up at 12 pm
4) Clicking random pictures and being pissed when they don't turn out as I envisioned
5) Facebook-ing - just looking at it...not even doing anything
6) Reading blogs of people who can't have enough of hating India's metropolitan cities and their challenges
7) Reading about people with awesome lives and feeling miserable about mine.

It sucks!

Bird Attack!

2011-09-02T02:44:00.002+05:30

We recently had a bird attack at home! I have no clue where they came from...may be I left the balcony door open for too long!

No matter what I did they would just not go away! They were everywhere...
I caught this one happily sitting on the kitchen door...

I came dangerously close to one and saw it had a big mean eye...

And then I saw one of them hitting on my hubby!

Which is when I lost it and shoo-ed em away!

Lessons from a river

2011-08-31T10:57:00.001+05:30

In my last post I talked about my river hiking trip and that how I learnt so much while I was there. I have to say that I am writing this post just for my benefit and not any readers of this blog. For all you guys I would say go out and do it yourself - I assure you that just like me, you will come back with a piece of your life's yummy pie!

1) I was able to do the hike in the time I did because I had that equipment - stick, neoprene socks, hiking shoes, waterproof bag in place! I could have done it without all these but it would only have made the hike harder, longer and painful.
Lesson :- In life, like on a river hike, if you aren't well prepared, you might still get where you want to but enough preparation takes you there quicker, easier and more confident!

2) On the river bed, there were pebbles of all sizes, and my immediate instinct was to step on the bigger ones. But I quickly realized that they were unstable and slippery. Stepping on the smaller ones helped me move faster and safer.
Lesson :- Looks can be deceptive! Also the seemingly insignificant things/people in life are the ones who really matter!

3) While there, I tried to calculate my every step. But there came points where no direction seemed the right direction to go in, but I had to move forward, and so I did.
Lesson:- Calculate all you can, but there will come points where you will have to trust your gut feel, without which there no going forward or backward!

4) The deeper elbows of the river were calmer than the others...and even though I couldn't see the river bed easily through them, walking through the calmer ones was easier than the shallower-violent ones!
Lesson :- Truly great people like deep elbows don't make a lot of noise. Reaching out to them may seem scary at first, but their greatness also means calmness and easy approach. And most likely they will help you make your journey far simpler than it is :)

5) I was very careful throughout the trek to not trip and fall in the water. But I still did. And I am glad I did, because I realized there was nothing to be scared of. I simply got up and started walking again...this time prepared to fall...because all I cared about then was getting to the final destination.
Lesson:- Take as many precautions as you want, you might still fall. Your goals will inspire you to get up and start walking again. Having a definite purpose is probably the single most important thing for success.

6) Given how scared I was of that water, all my concentration was just on the water and my next step. But all my tense nerves used to ease up whenever I looked up to take a good look of the beautiful canyon and soak in what a river could do - not in a day but definitely in a million years!
Lesson :- Every once in a while, take a break from what you are doing to see what you have caused so far. You might overestimate what you can do today, but never underestimate what you can do in a long period of time. And if by any chance you miss the point, it'll still be worth it to take a break and appreciate what life has given you!

7) Last but not the least, I couldn't have done this if hubby hadn't been persistent with his efforts to motivate me!
Lesson :- There is a lot of joy in being single, but you have no idea what's possible if you are with the right partner! I treasure him more than anything else in my life :)

Travelogue part 4

2011-08-29T14:22:00.006+05:30

The Antelope Canyon tour was probably the one thing that I was waiting for the most during this trip...and I am so glad it did not disappoint me! Hidden away in the nondescript outskirts of Page in Arizona, going there is almost like being on a treasure hunt like Santiago in the Alchemist. It of course isn't that difficult but it also isn't like going to any other popular natural wonder in the U.S.

Antelope (Upper and lower) Canyon is a slot canyon - one of the most visited in southwest U.S. and managed by the Navajo tribe. What makes it special is the wave like formations on the walls of the Canyon caused due to erosion by flash floods and sub-aerial processes. Also the light and shadow play caused in the summer months makes them a sight not worth missing.

The Upper Antelope gets more vistors because of its popular light beam pictures and also because the whole place is on ground level and thus easily accessible. There is a lot of place for people to move around so one can find up to 60-80 people inside the canyon which makes it very crowded. There is also a lot of dust falling in that canyon which isn't very good for your expensive camera equipment. But nonetheless it gets a lot of visitors and photographers for its sheer beauty (and a lot of marketing). The Lower Antelope on the other hand is narrow, difficult to reach for older people who cannot climb stairs as you have to enter through a narrow opening in the ground and climb a whole lot of stairs to come back up. But the advantages are that only 20 people can enter the Canyon at a time so it doesn't get very crowded. Also there is no dust so no harm to your cameras.

Entry point for the Lower Antelope Canyon

Both Canyons cost you 26 $ per person and most people choose to see both. We chose just the lower one because of lack of time. Also the Lower canyon has the best views either early morning or in the evening...whereas best time to go to Upper canyon is between 12 to 2pm. We only had time for a morning slot so Lower was our obvious choice. Luckily we made it to the first batch of people going for the tour and were the first people to enter the place. It was a beautiful beyond words. The curves and the stunning formations were staring back at us in all imaginable shades of orange, red, yellow and purple. We found ourselves ooh-ing and aah-ing at every turn of the canyon.

Lower Antelope Canyon

The guide kept showing us all the interesting formations in the shapes of human faces and animals with other details. He was also kind enough to click pictures of everyone in the group with those formations and also helped us determine the best settings for our cameras. He was quite a learned man himself and did this tour guide job only part time. The whole tour lasted about 1 hour and we came back with some stunning pictures and the experience of a lifetime. The place really made us marvel at the wonders of mother nature. The sheer precision of the patterns on the wall of that canyon still has us awestruck and bowing to big momma! :D

The crazy formations inside the Lower Antelope canyon

Our next stop was Zion National Park in Utah. It is about 2.5 hrs from Page but because of the time lag from Pacific to Mountain time zone, effective time is about 3.5 hours. As soon as we left the boundaries of Arizona, we were welcomed by the beautiful red rocks of Utah. The state is exceptionally beautiful and has a lot to do for the real adventure seeker. Hubby and me had our hearts set on Zion for a long time and thus we picked it out of all the amazing things to do there. Also in Zion there are a couple of exciting treks to do but it is known for its Narrows Trek which is a river hiking trip through the Virgin river and lasts about 12 hours...requires you to be physically fit and a permit from the park authorities. But for those who cannot do the entire 12 hours, there is an option of doing a two mile stretch of the River. Hiking the Narrows is rated # 5 in the National Geographic ranking of America's Best 100 Adventures. And thus we had our hearts set on having a taste of this premier adventure.

Utah Rocks

We entered Zion from it's east entrance and were welcomed by the spectacular checkerboard Mesa...a 900ft high hill with criss-cross fissures formed by winds and thawing after snow. The entry fee for the park is again 25$ per car and I would say its nothing for the majestic beauty you will witness there. One of our friends even said that after Ladakh if any place has impressed him, it's this...I would say is a real compliment to Zion.

Checkerboard Mesa @ Zion

When we got there we weren't left with too much time as things hadn't gone as per plan with Antelope Canyon the previous day. So without wasting much time we decided to straightaway start the Narrows Trek. All thanks to my research, we knew that we will need proper shoes, neoprene socks, a stick and a waterproof bag. All this because the water is icy cold and even though you can do the trek without all these, I just did not want to take a chance. All these things can be rented for 18$ per person, per day (minus the water proof bag). There is only one rental shop just outside the park, 2 minutes drive from the visitor center. We went there, picked our stuff and were asked to see a video about the safety precautions one should take on this hike.

So the thing about me is that I am scared of water...terribly scared! Also I cannot swim. Even though swimming won't help much on this trek as it is just walking on the river bed with mostly knee deep water, but there are points where the water is deep and you might have to swim. There is also always a risk of flash flooding. But I really wanted to experience this...thus after talking to a lot of people and reading a lot of information, I had decided that I will do the 2-mile stretch for sure. But after watching that video...I really freaked out. I saw things on the screen and my fear of water just came back to me. It took a lot of coaxing on hubby's part to make me rent that stuff and go to the starting point of the trek and then decide if I want to do it or not!

We got our stuff and headed to the trek's starting point - Temple of Sinawava. The only way to get there between the month's of April to October is a shuttle or a bike. The shuttle service is awesome and stops at various trail heads in the park...the last stop being the temple of Sinawava. From the bus stop, it is about a mile's walk to get to the trail head. The water was a beautiful emerald blue and took my heart away at the first sight. It was clear and not so deep and we could easily see the river bed. I saw other people being able to walk easily through the water and I decided to give it a shot myself. It was cold at first but we became accustomed to it. The neoprene socks definitely were a life saver. But there came a few points where I couldn't balance myself n felt like I would trip n fall - which is when the fear gripped me again. To make matters worse, an old lady scared me that the water's really deep further ahead n I wouldn't be able to do it if I can't swim. But hubby did not give up. He kept motivating me to do it. I too mustered some courage and decided to not give up on this chance of a lifetime!

We slowly moved forward...I found it difficult a lot of times but my curiosity to see what lies ahead got the better of me and I kept moving. There did come a point where the water came up till my neck...but I held hubby's hand and somehow did it. Honestly, I would have never done it if not for him and I couldn't thank God enough for giving me him. The views of the river bed surrounded by the great walls of the canyon had all of us spellbound. All I did was quietly tread forward with a blessed feeling in my heart. I have to say I learnt a lot about my life on that hike.

The Narrows @ Zion

There came a point when my body gave up and I just did not want to go any further ahead. Hubby and me had a bad fight there - honestly now I don't remember why but I remember we had to give up on our egos and stay together. It taught us a lot about our life together as well...when both of us wanted to be in different places, do different things, but we had to stay together, for our own sake, and that is the only thing which mattered. From that point we decided to trek back to the Temple of Sinawava as it was getting dark. I remember being more confident on the way back and the same deep elbow of water seemed like a cake walk this time. I got back with a proud feeling of having conquered my fears and better equipped to take on life's challenges.

I know what I am going to say now has been said to death already, but I guess Javed Akhtar said it once n for all when he wrote the below lines, which for me couldn't have better said for that day in my life :-

Pighle neelam sa behta ye sama,
neeli neeli si khamoshiyan,
na kahin hai zameen na kahin aasmaan,
sarsaraati hui tehniyaan pattiyaan,
keh raheen hai bas ek tum ho yahan,
bas main hoon,
meri saansein hain aur meri dhadkanein,
aisi gehraiyaan, aisi tanhaiyaan,
aur main… sirf main.
Apne hone par mujhko yakeen aa gaya.

To be contd...

Travelogue part 3

2011-08-28T10:19:00.001+05:30

After covering a long stretch on Route 66, we finally arrived at the Grand Canyon. The entry fee is a mere 25$ per car (or 7$ per person if you go otherwise) good for 7 days. When we entered the area we could not see the canyon till we reached the visitor center. All we saw around us was greenery and just another jungle. I was a little scared that this too will turn out to be another Niagara falls like experience- over hyped without much substance. We got off our cars to go to the first observation point. It's called Mather point and is just 2 minutes from the visitor center.

There hubby did the sweetest thing ever. He had seen the Canyon last year and wanted me to witness its grandeur as well. He covered my eyes and started leading me towards the observation point. There were many other people walking towards the same place with us. And just to tease him I started saying things like...Are you going to propose to me? Say you'll give me the ring etc. etc. Knowing him I'm sure he must have been a lil embarrassed but only kept laughing and leading me forward :)

As we reached the point he removed his hands and I got the first look of the Canyon! They say its grandeur can really be experienced at sunset...and lucky for us, it was precisely the time for sunset. What I saw was a beautiful shadow play of the setting sun's rays falling over the walls of the Canyon. It was deep shade of orange was breathtaking to say the least. I swear to God, standing there, I fell in love all over again...with that place and my hubby for making it so so special. I hugged him right there and almost wanted to marry him again :D

My first look of the Canyon

We then saw a lot of people walking towards the edges of the canyon walls and wanted to do the same too. We started walking towards Yavapai point which is about a mile from Mather point and seemed to have better views of the sunset and the Canyon. I tried walking towards the edge there but just couldn't. It was scary and dark for me to be able to attempt anything like that. So we just sat there and tried to make the most of that beautiful moment.

Junta on the edge of the Canyon walls

We planned to trek the next day. But we had to keep it short because of time constraints. The visitor center had enough information on which treks we can do in how much and their difficulty levels. We decided on doing the one with views of the Colorado river. The Canyon has buses running inside which take you to various points. We stopped at the bright angel lodge to take another bus which would take us to our desired point. But it was taking too long and we decided to do the rim trail instead to save time. 5 minutes into the rim trail and we realized it would mean just walking along the Canyon's rim. And would take us forever to reach our desired point. We also saw some people trekking all the way down to go to the river on the Bright Angel trail. The entire trail cannot be completed in one day as it is not safe. The temperature at the bottom is 20 degrees more than what it is at the top and it requires more than extreme physical strength to do it. So we decided to do just the first 2 miles of that trek - which is what a lot of other people were doing as well. It would give us a chance to experience the Canyon without being a lame walk.

Initially it looked difficult as it was a steep and narrow path, but we realized that it wasn't that difficult after all. The trail also gave us some stunning views of the Canyon. It is beyond brilliant to see what that river has done in 17 million years. My own life felt like nothing at all in comparison to what I saw there. Before that I had only heard of the effects nature has on people. And I had failed to understand why. I always called myself a city girl...amazed only by what man can accomplish and not nature...but I have to say, something moved inside me when I saw the Canyon. I knew I was gonna go back a different person.

Pictures of our trek

It was already 12.30 pm when we got back. We decided to head towards our next destination - Page. On our way back we again saw some stunning views of the Canyon, but the best were when we just got out of the canyon and started driving uphill to go to Page. From those heights we saw the Canyon look like a huge crack on the earth's surface. The hill we were driving on was very beautiful itself with bright red rocks everywhere. We decide to make a quick stop to get one last look of the Canyon. It truly was a great opportunity to be there and be able to see that place. No pictures/descriptions can ever do justice to what it really is.

A quick stop for one last look of the Canyon

On our way to Page, we again saw some beautiful landscapes. Red, pink and grey rocks had surrounded us and formed an almost Mars-like land. We also ended up taking a wrong road which led us quite a few miles towards Tuba city, where these rocks had a much deeper red color and we felt like we were really not on earth. I felt lucky about losing our way that time even though it cost us a lot of time and ended up hurting our plan later.

When we luckily lost our way :)

The plan in Page was to visit the famous Antelope canyon. It has been on my wishlist forever now! Actually ever since I saw it on the Nat Geo website earlier this year. When I got to know that we were headed to Arizona, I knew I had to see this place! While researching for it I also found out that we can also see Glen Canyon and it's famous Horseshoe bend. We entered the city of Page around 3:30 pm. Once again a beautiful lake in the middle of a desert - lake Powell - captured our imaginations. We decided to head towards the Canyons. But by the time we reached the place, the tours for the day had already ended.

So the thing with the Antelope Canyons is that they have two canyons 5 minutes from each other - upper and lower. Because of the risk of flash flooding, they do not allow people to go inside without a tour guide. Also these canyons cannot be seen after 5pm as it gets dark inside, thus the last tour leaves at 4pm. Each Canyon charges a fee of 26$ per person. We had planned on seeing just the upper Antelope. But because we missed the last tour, we ended up talking to the locals and their recommendation said that we go see the Lower one instead. So we decided to take the first tour at 8 am for the Lower canyon the next day.

Glen canyon

We had the entire evening ahead of us. We first went to an observation point from where one can see the dam on lake Powell and also the Glen Canyon. It was an interesting place with beautiful rock formations. Then without wasting much time, we went to the Horseshoe bend so that we could catch it before sunset. The whole walk to the point is just 3/4th of a mile but we were tired, it was hot and the whole place was full of sand. So the short trek seemed like forever. But once there, we loved the bend. The beautiful blue water of the lake and the bright green moss made a colorful ring around the round end of the canyon. Even though there wasn't much to do there except for taking fun photos, we ended up spending quite a lot of time climbing some small rocks around the area! All in all a fun place and a lovely short trek.

Horseshoe bend

We also loved the vibe in the the city of Page. It's a small laid back town with a very friendly air around. You could tell that people were there to relax and were all having a good time at the various restaurants. We ended the evening with a yummy Italian meal. The place was called Stromboli...so I decided to order just that for myself. What I got was a Stromboli as big as my head!! Like literally! I couldn't even eat half of that huge pie. The other half we kept in the car the next morning...and the car got really hot outside while we did our Lower Antelope canyon tour...and so did that Stromboli :D It totally made for a yummy breakfast after one of the most awesome experiences of my life...

The awesome experience was of course the tour of the Antelope canyon. Details in my next post...

Travelogue part 2

2011-08-27T12:57:00.005+05:30

So here I go...

Me and hubby landed in Vegas on Thursday night. We were to start our trip on Friday morning with two of his friends. All four of us were flying to Vegas from U.S. East coast, but me and hubby decided to fly at night all thanks to his brilliant :p idea of catching the night time view of the Vegas strip.

Ok so hubby has been to Vegas earlier and he was of the opinion that the bird's eye view of the Vegas strip - a 4-5 mile stretch of land in the middle of a desert infested with some of the world's top hotels and casinos is stunning and worth a dekho from the plane at night. I am a sucker for neon lights and started dreaming of seeing a long strip of light in the middle of pitch dark desert when we land. I was so excited that I couldn't even sleep through the flight and kept looking out of the window (like a real kid) for a glimpse of the shiny bright oasis.

There is a lot to learn about this country while on a cross country flight especially at night time. It's amazing how sparsely inhabited they are. The cities or hubs of any kind of activity seemed frighteningly rare. I know that our suburbs where most of the people live hardly have any street lights and in the dark I wouldn't have been able to spot any major ones, but just the thought that all these people burn a whole lotta fuel in their cars to get to the cities everyday painted a sorry picture in my mind. And so did their indiscreet use of energy to keep the cities and the skyscrapers well lit all day and night!

But there was definitely one thing that made me smile - the sight of a baseball field from high above. From the plane it looked smaller than a golf ball - but I could distinctly see the boundaries on the field and the flood lights and it somehow looked very cute. It gave me an idea of how high I probably was and it was an exhilarating feeling in some proud sorta way! :)

Anyways, as we entered Nevada, I kept looking for the Vegas strip and all I could see was endless dots of light everywhere. There were some patches which were more densely lighted than others and I kept waking up hubby dear to ask him if any of those were the strip :P Finally when we were about to land, I got a good view of the city and again, I mistook it to be the strip. In fact I never really saw the real strip from the plane. When we got off, we could see all the hotels from the airport. The air was so clear that they seemed closer than they really were and I felt like we could just walk towards them and check in. Infact I was also a little disappointed that they were all smaller than I imagined them to be. I hoped to see some skyscrapers and all, but I didn't! But I did get a sense of what Vegas really is...just another city with a casino themed patch of land, which made it one of the most visited places in the world. It wasn't just casinos and hotels as I always imagined but a real city!

I was a little disappointed and very hungry after the 6 hour long flight. After taking our luggage we headed towards the taxi stand which had more people than my entire plane waiting in line for a cab. Thank god it wasn't Delhi else we would have easily witnessed a stampede at a taxi stand :P

After checking into our hotel - more like a condo - which we booked because we were going to be there for only half a night this time - we stepped out at 2:30 am to find some dinner. The roads were almost empty...not as deserted as roads in some other cities that I have seen but definitely not Vegas-y. My ideas obviously came from our Hindi Bollywood movies where there is loud music and partying on the roads in Vegas - so I sadly trashed another dream of being in a really lively American city :P Hubby said it is like I imagine it is but only on weekend nights and the Friday crowd has still not shown up...so I decided to give my dreams another chance :P -

Our only options for food that late in the night were the 24 hour cafes at the casinos. We decided to go to the nearest one - Earl of Sandwich at Planet Hollywood. To go there we had to cross the hotel's shopping arcade and the casino. The arcade was a real delight to see. They had sky like ceilings which made it look like an outdoor European shopping street and had me awestruck! :)
And then came another shock - we entered the Casino and I saw skimpily clad women pole dancing on the various gambling tables. Ok I know I might sound a little nineteenth century here but you have to trust me...it is something else to know about it, or have seen it on TV/movies...and totally different to see with your eyes - almost naked women dancing in front of thousands of men and women. And they did it with no expression at all. Their movements were as mechanic as a robots. I felt ashamed looking at those women doing all that there. I fail to understand how can anybody consider this insane act an entertainment of any sort??? Hubby shrugged it off by saying "it's Vegas for you". And I guess that's all you can say about it - it's Vegas! But I have to add...it's not fun (or funny) for sure! All I did was look away and kept going where I was going. We headed to the sandwich place and had some greasy vegetarian sandwiches and really creamy heavy soup. Perfect for an after alcohol binge but made us sober souls quite uneasy.

The next morning we woke up...had a nice breakfast of Starbucks coffee and yummy Zucchini muffins, soaked up some beautiful Vegas weather (I like it a little hot, dry and sunny - so Vegas in the morning was perfect for me) and headed for Grand Canyon with our other two friends!

Vegasy Morning

The landscape just as you leave Vegas - I would say, is different - neither stunning nor boring - just something that I hadn't seen before - and also the desert was a much needed change after the super green terrain of the east coast. I had planned of stopping at Hoover Dam on our route but because we were running late by an hour, I thought we should may be skip it! But as we came close to the dam, the first glimpse of the beautiful blue waters of lake mead (over which the dam is built) hit us! The road seemed like it will take us to into the lake and I couldn't resist making that stop.

Lake Mead

It was already 1 pm by the time we got there and it had become unbearably hot by that time. Almost a 100 degrees! We still walked all the way to the center of the observation bridge, saw the beautiful dam and the lake and all those people with their boats around that place. It was just so beautiful to see that blue water in the middle of the desert that we decided to go down to the visitor center for a closer look of the dam and the lake. Of course we did not have enough time to take one of their tours and know more about the history of the place. Also it was so hot and crowded that we couldn't stop for too long and decided to move ahead.

Hoover Dam from the observation bridge.

Closer look of the lake

Even as we moved higher on the rocks, we could see the beautiful blue lake and it seemed like a wonderful start to a long trip :) The one thing I really liked about the highways was that they haven't tried to commercialize the whole place. Like most busy highways, we did not see a crazy number of rest areas with their chain coffee shops and pizza/burger joints! In fact we did not see any of those. After driving for about 30 minutes we finally saw a diner in the middle of nowhere. And I was very happy that we weren't going to eat at any of those shitty chain food restaurants. If there is one thing I really hate, it's those junk food graveyards!

I don't remember the name of the place but it was a typical highway route 66 type diner. 3 of us in the the group were vegetarians and 2(including me) of us don't even eat eggs...so we couldn't find anything interesting on the menu for us. I ended up eating grilled cheese sandwiches which were nice. But the jalapeno poppers we tried were yummy! Jalapenos filled with fresh mozzarella cheese, dipped in batter and fried! I am salivating right now just thinking about that melted cheese in my mouth :P

The people there were friendly and told me more about an alternate route we could take to go to the canyon which goes through the more scenic Route 66! We decided to take it and it ended up being a very wise decision. It is the historic highway of America which stretches from Chicago to L.A. It does not exist on any maps anymore but it has been preserved as an American icon and is a must do if you are on a road trip in the west. There is even a tribute song by Bobby Troup which goes like...

If you ever plan to motor west
Travel my way, the highway that's the best.
Get your kicks on Route 66!

Even though the stretch we covered wasn't very long but we did get our fair share of what it represents - freedom, migration West, and the loneliness of the American heartland. We saw quite a few interesting small shops on our way which were selling route 66 memorabilia and we duly picked the one for us :D I would say if you ever get a chance, do experience this route...and if you listen closely, in the air you will hear the story of what (once) made America a great country!

To be contd...

Travelougue - part 1

2011-08-25T12:34:00.005+05:30

I won't say I have traveled a lot in my life, but enough to be able to tell a few stories without being repetitive. Call it the recency effect that I think some real travelling has happened to me only after coming to the U.S. I say that because back in Bangalore I planned only one of the trips I made...rest all happened because someone else was going. And mostly I didn't even know where exactly I was going. All that mattered was that I had time and someone was going :)

Not like I have become a real traveler after coming here. My idea of a real traveler is someone who travels with a purpose, who is a wanderer but with a reason. Travel for him or her does not mean a vacation or going to see a new place, but to really know the culture and people in those places. He/she is a seeker of enriching experiences.

My (our) travels in the U.S. have been more of explorations. We always left home with a tacit consent that we will take what we get. Which is why I never thought of writing about any place I visited. They were all more like matters of chance (well almost).

I was in Mexico when it hit me that I need to cause all these chances for myself. Even though it was our honeymoon and we had landed in may be one of the prettiest places on earth...but it was all by chance. We just saw a package that met our requirements, we checked the resort ratings and booked it. A month later we packed our bags n landed there...without a clue of what lies ahead. I would call it pure luck that we landed in heaven. And because it was our honeymoon I did not mind the whole lotta pampering, relaxation and whiling away. We did go out and see "Chichen Itza" but again that was planned after we reached the resort. Before getting there we did not even know if we'll be able to do something like that.

And there it struck me...that we could have missed all this if luck hadn't been on our side. In fact we did not get all that lucky and missed a few must do things in the city - all of which I found out later courtesy travel channel. And then I decided that we will, as much as possible avoid travelling without a plan. With our limited time and money we cannot afford to waste all these opportunities.

Phew...I take too long to come to the point. All I wanted to say was that our latest trip was awesome. Awesome because I really took the time and pain to plan it to the T. We were out for some 11 days, traveled across four states and did some pretty amazing things which I'm sure will stay in our memories for the rest of our lives. And just in case they don't, I have this blog to fall back on! :)

We started with Vegas -> Grand Canyon, AZ -> Page, AZ -> Zion, UT -> Vegas, NV -> San Diego, CA -> Los Angeles, CA -> Vegas

There were of course multiple stops in between each major destination which I will mention in my post. It took me a whole lot of time to plan the first half of the trip as we had certain constraints. We had only 3.5 days, we had to start from Vegas and our desired activities could only be done at certain times. We couldn't really stick to our schedules all the time which did disrupt our plan a bit, but it also brought us some pleasant surprises.

Also I have to commend Facebook, Tripadvisor and many other personal blogs which helped me maximize on this opportunity. I am so glad for all the user generated content available on everything related to travel that sitting here I felt like I had already been to all of those places. So much that I got a little skeptical about my ability to enjoy my travel anymore! But to my surprise, knowing so much didn't take away from the experience (or the surprise quotient) of really being in those places - breathing that air, soaking in that sun and soooo much more. Reading things from all those sources only helped me be better prepared and save time on the trivial things and really have a lot of fun!

Part of the reason I'm writing this post is also that someone someday might benefit from my experience just as I did from what others shared!

Because this is getting too long, I will break this post into 3 parts and tell you the rest of the story in the next two. Till then ciao! :D

Random peace.

2011-08-23T12:03:00.003+05:30

We laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night...

I follow Garfield on Facebook. My liking for him is all thanks to the three Garfield comic books a dear friend gave me last Christmas :) (Nidhi...my secret Santa :)

Today afternoon there was a (as is usual) lazily funny update on his page. It said "Afternoon nap! Who's with me?"

In just a couple of hours it had some 450 comments and 4000+ likes! Given how jobless I am, I was obviously intrigued by what is it that people like so much about this status?? I ended up glancing through the comments. Most of them said they are so totally ready for a nap! One woman had written "oh ask me what will I not give up for a nap right now"!

That comment reminded me of all those days when I had yearned for a nap but didn't even have time for a good nights sleep! And now when I have all the time in the world to relax n sleep as much as I want to...I have not even once cared to cherish it!

I know things will change...I know they will soon...I know once again I will wish for something as simple as a nap...but I don't want to wait for that day anymore to be thankful for this time in my life...when I have all the simple things one wishes for everyday :)

This post is to just acknowledge the leisure time (and the joys it brings) I have in life right now and have failed to respect all this while. May I never forget to be thankful ever again :)

Wisdom on strike!

2011-08-03T11:04:00.003+05:30

I recently read Ayn Rand's biography - "Ayn Rand and the world she made". Brought back a million memories of the time when I devoured her two great novels in a couple of months and couldn't talk of anything else but her ideas. In retrospect it all looks a little silly to me - being in awe of her and the world she spun.

Well honestly I have never been a very rational person. Being a cusp of Libra and Scorpio, half of my personality traits are very Libran. Yes I am a complete romantic and as gullible as a true Libran can be. So that explains why I fell for her ideas in the first place. Plus I guess you don't necessarily need to have these traits if you're in your teens and reading her books. Back then I had the best or rather worst of both worlds :P

Anyways, reading this biography made me see what most of us miss when we are introduced to her ideas. No one knew the reality of that woman. And her perfect world existed only in those sagas she wrote - which were mostly only in accordance to things she wanted in her life. As powerfully eloquent as she was, she made each of her desires look perfectly rational and mostly even moral.

But this post isn't about the book. As I sat reminiscing the (unquestioning) old Ayn Rand years, some silly thoughts started popping in my head. (Basically my brain finally started questioning her ideas! Well better late than never!) One of the things that she has said is that "a man should have the freedom to choose or to not choose". Meaning, why choose from things available to you. True freedom would mean rejecting everything if you don't like any of your choices.

At first it seemed like a very powerful idea. But as I pondered over it a little more, hundreds of (mostly funny) questions started popping in my head. Is man really designed to be as free as he wants to be?

For eg. Do I have the freedom to not live today?
Consider that you are having a bad day. Can you choose to shorten it by any chance? Like may be put away some hours to add on a good day and not go through the rest of the hours simply because you don't feel its worth it?

You might say it is avoiding a certain situation. Where does the question of choice come from? But if I really had any freedom, I wouldn't have lived any minute when I wasn't truly happy.

But nature designed our lives in a way that we go through all kinds of experiences. And every minute I really am making a choice from the available choices. Even if I decided to not choose anything and go on a strike - Like how Ayn puts it - It would still be a choice from my available choices of doing something or nothing at all, but living every hour that I am destined to go through!! Inne?

I am very sure if the great lady heard it, she would have a convincing enough answer for me...But sometimes I really wish I could save as many hours as I could for my best days :)

I know some of you will be tempted to tell me that I can make the choice to make sure that I live each day to the fullest n blah blah...but c'mon...don't we all have bad days? And let's just admit it...on those days none of us have a clue about what to do. Those are the days when our wisdom chooses to not exist! :D

Well I wish I had as much freedom as my wisdom has :P

Ole to you! :)

2011-07-30T08:04:00.001+05:30

This is going to be long.

Just yesterday I was talking to a friend who moved to Philippines at around the same time when I came to the US, about how both of us have come to conclude that people all over the world, no matter how different they might look or behave, say just the same things. They are essentially all the same people with just the same belief systems. They might talk in a different language, have different stories to share but their morals will surely match yours!

Many a times it has surprised me to see American people here say things (in English) - which would be word to word translations of things that my mother or her mother (Indians) used to tell me(in Hindi), who I can guarantee you have never been to or really know much about the cultures to their west or east.

And today I came across another example of this whole "one world one people" thing. My mother often quoted from the Gita - "Karam kar, phal ki ichcha na kar" (meaning - keep working and do not try to measure the results with your own expectations) For some odd reason it never struck a chord with me. For as long as I remember, the phal or the result has been the only thing that ever mattered to me. So much that it has been the only driving force behind any of my actions. So far it has worked well in my life.

But there is another thing that I have come to learn in my life. Your beliefs, experiences and comfort zones can only take you so far. Beyond that it takes a lot of character, courage and the right attitude to take you anywhere.

As I try to chalk out my own path, carve my own future, I find myself stressed by the uncertain result of my choices. They might produce the result I imagine they would, or I might fail terribly. And it is hard for me to be motivated by such uncertainty.

But today I came across this captivating TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity. She talked about how her previous success "Eat, Pray, Love" has put her under a performance pressure. The wonderful writer that she is, she has spun a beautiful talk around how all she can do is show up for her part of the job everyday-which is to write and leave it to the gods to be her constant source of creative ideas. The Moral ofcourse is..."Karam kar, phal ki ichcha na kar" :) N this time it made much more sense than it ever did in the past.

Watching it has put a lot of things for me in perspective for me. My favorite is where she talks about taking the genius out of oneself. Do not think of yourself as the source of any awesomeness out there in the world. You are just a channel. The best you can do is keep doing what you love doing, and not worry about the awesome...its not your part of the deal anyway!

My post will make more sense if you watch this here http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html#.TjFLWVDSCak.facebook

Ole to you anyway :)

To sleep or not to sleep

2011-06-11T11:03:00.000+05:30

So my life underwent HUGE changes! I got married, left my country, left my job and left this blog. The last one I guess was a stupid decision.

I mean can you really all of a sudden cut yourself from every connection you had with yourself and start afresh??

No neither of marriage or a new country is a fresh start. Hasn't been for me. These were the things that were always part of my dreams, my moving forward. But I have no clue why I decided to quit blogging here! Especially when it has been a big part of my life for the last 5 years!! That's as far back as I can remember existing.

Being worldly wise is not me. I cannot give up on something dear because it makes me look foolish in retrospect (yes that's what it seemed when I left this space). This blog has been a great friend in my growing up years, my partner in crime, my agony aunt, my teacher and just so much more. I cannot leave it just yet!

So here I am, hit by insomnia, back here to reclaim my life and get things in order again!

Funny that I called my new blog - the missing point. This blog and what it means to me is probably the biggest thing I missed!

So glad to be back :) Hugs H.O.L!

Tada!

2011-02-24T03:45:00.004+05:30

Letting go of this blog was more than tough! But I guess I have been on this high tide long enough...and it's time to move on!

From now on, I'll be searching for a different/higher high here:

http://struckbytheusual.blogspot.com/

See you there! :)

Restart!

2011-02-02T06:01:00.002+05:30

Well sometimes the best option you have is to press 'Restart'!

Ok so...

2011-01-12T11:08:00.003+05:30

this post was written in December 2010, but for some odd reason is being posted now...

The thoughts remain the same...

My last post this year but the first one as a married girl! :)

Yes the past one year has been the most important 365 days of my life till date...I met the man for me...grew in love with him...and also crossed 7 seas to be with him!

For me all this is like being born again! Everything feels like its brand new! Unknown territory! Living in a completely different environment, in a never seen before culture, with a man who's greatness was till date only a part of my dreams - is huge!!

I wouldn't talk about how it feels being married - I don't think words can ever do justice to explain this 'highest point of one's life'. But I would definitely like to comment upon how it feels to be in this new country (US).

The first day I landed here, I couldn't get over the supremely cold weather here! I was just not prepared for it! N to top it all...we were welcomed by a snowstorm! Oh how beautiful it looks...the world covered with fresh snow! So pure - almost sacred!

It seems to make the world 'boundaryless' by painting the world in one color! No fences, no gates, no grass, nothing can tell you what belongs to who! It's like nature's mockery of the poor mankind and it's funny ways to try to own what never really belonged to him - land!

But all this beauty couldn't engage my mind enough to forget about just how hard this weather was on my physical self! My feet seemed to freeze inside my shoes! It was so cold that tears began rolling down my cheeks as we waited at the train station (on our way to buy snowboots :p). And there was this gentleman who saw me...and after giving me several futile ideas on how to keep myself warm...he said a thing that I have known but have never practiced - close your eyes and think of something warm, think of India and the hottest months! And be in that warmth - your mind can take you wherever you want to be!

And there I was, standing in the middle of an open train station - trying to imagine the heat in the month of May in India! It was real hard n didn't really help my cause...but took me to another level...where I could see just how different n valuable these experiences of my life are...from there to here...it's been a crazy journey! :d one I can never really be thankful enough for!

Another thing about this place that has really touched my heart is the people! I wonder why the eff no one ever told me that Americans are one of the nicest people you can ever come across! Especially after having lived in India all my life, sweet natured and extremely courteous people all around me seems like such a luxury in life!

Ok I don't wish to go on n on about my first impressions of this place...but I guess I'm gonna have a good time living in this country!!! :)

That's it from me here! Wish you all a very happy new year and the best of times ahead!

Here I am :)

2010-11-17T03:20:00.002+05:30

So how does it feel?

2010-10-22T02:14:00.004+05:30

This is my last night @ Bangalore!

Even though I was dying to see this day, not because I don't like this city or I miss home too much; in fact I have loved Bangalore more than I thought I could and I have despised being at home for long stretches of time! I was eagerly waiting for this time only because it seemed like the big step forward towards my new life with Puneet (yes that's his name) :)

But today as I sat in office with all my pending work done and goodbye mails sent, the only question everyone kept asking me was "How does it feel??" and the only thing I could tell them was that I am feeling very nervous! (I did not know I could feel like that too)

"And nervous why???"

Well, even though the idea of starting a new life with the one you love is the single most exciting thing in the world and yes I am experiencing my share of excitement, but leaving everything behind and be in a new country without any idea of what will I do next - isn't as easy as it seems to be!

All the work I did in the last two years, all the friendships and relationships I invested in and enjoyed so much, all the difficult situations I endured in the hope of sweet results, everything has suddenly become null and void! May be not. But it just feels like that right now!

It is as if someone took the slate of my life, rubbed everything I had written till date and handed it back to me!

And I am left standing here wondering what to write now!

I think not everybody gets such an opportunity in life! And secretly sometimes I also wished for such a chance! And to my surprise, I have it in my hands now! :D

And I want to write all the things that I really want to be!

And like he said, it's a leap of faith...

I have my fingers crossed!

P.S.: I have to mention here how much my friends have pampered me the last few days!(well planned surprises and some real thought put into some beautiful gifts – if I have felt happy and on top of the world it has been all thanks to them!)

And how nice some just acquaintances have been to me! I feel really blessed in life to have known such wonderful people!

Also, it's my birthday today (last one as a spinster) which I'll be celebrating in two of the most important cities in my life...Bangalore and Delhi :) I'm quite excited by how it has all turned out :)

She doesn't know :D

2010-10-19T01:22:00.007+05:30

There are many (more than just) beautiful things that have happened to me ever since I met the man of my dreams. So many that I can clearly chart out a list of a hundred "befores and afters" in my life right now!

But one of the most important thing to me has been the expansion of my being. Before I met him - life was all about how much do I know, how accomplished I am, what have I learnt and just how great I am in my own silly ways ;)

But this man came and changed the way I looked at "knowing" and made me realize just how less I was doing in life by trying to be someone who is known by what she knows! Without knowing it himself, he taught me how to be proud of all that I still haven't seen, learnt or known!

And now life is all about how much do I not know! Just how much there is to do and absorb! Life seems to have expanded infinitely. There are no boundaries - just a lot of space to breathe and be myself!

I feel like a child who has been put on a new discovery of the same self in the same world but now with a purpose - living the best life for this man who deserves nothing but the best!

Tonight as I pack my bags to leave Bangalore - the city where I met him - learned and then unlearned so much - I am filled with the excitement of creating a new life with someone who is more than I could have ever wished for and who makes me want to be better than I had ever dreamt of being!

I am thrilled seeing so many dreams come true - and even more thrilled at all the plans which did not work out - because I am sure there are great things in store - which I have no idea about right now - but I am still loving it - because not knowing is a state that I have come to love!

And it feels even better because now I will learn everything I want to learn and see my life unfold with the one person I love the most :)

Just cant wait for the big day!

I am here:)

2010-09-30T22:46:00.003+05:30

Been so long I haven't posted anything here! Just a maddening phase! So I'll let this maze describe where I am currently! :)

Grasshopper pie

2010-08-30T23:28:00.006+05:30

Sometimes holidays seem to be over before they actually get over. That “Sometime” for me is now.

Life in Bangalore to me was like a romance with the rebellious me...

Like a discovery of freedom, independence and self...

The most awaited opportunity to turn my dreams into reality...

It was my one chance to live it up...and I did.

And I found a lot more than I expected to - Myself, some great friends, rich experiences and the love of my life!

There are still a good three months to go before I finally move back to Delhi and start gearing up for my big day! But this time feels like it’s already over. So many people who made this time wonderful are moving on as well. Some of them have already left. Others are leaving soon.

Strange how we start with reading about cities, but what’s really left of them when we leave is people we met and the friends we made there!

I don’t know if anything significant will happen in the next couple of months. Will I make new friends or will I sit and miss the ones who have left/will leave before me? Will I turn a few more dreams into reality or will sit and bask in the glory of the ones fulfilled? Will I finished incomplete paintings or will draw lines on new canvasses? I don’t know...

A major chunk of the pie does seem to have gotten over. But the cashews in the crumbs are still mine to discover :)

Officially now :)

2010-08-07T21:46:00.000+05:30

The joy of next.

2010-07-27T23:12:00.008+05:30

Some of the most exciting days of my life have been the ones when I met complete strangers (note: 'somehow' attractive) and got to know them better (note: in a short time)

There is something (sort of thrilling) about conversations with attractive strangers. You can go on dreaming and playing your next 'chance' meeting with them in your mind over n over again.

No matter how the 'real' encounters really turn out to be, there is nothing compared to the joy in imagining yet another perfect next moment.

We can never know about the days to come
But we think about them anyway, yay
And I wonder if I'm really with you now
Or just chasin' after some finer day

--Carly Simon.

You know "this is it"...

2010-07-17T20:07:00.006+05:30

I have come to know so many people in my life. A lot of them are very dear to me. Others might not be dear, but matter. But never have I felt that they are the 'reason' why I do the things I do.

Even if I have done things 'for' people, but they could have been anybody else and I would have done those very things 'for' the 'somebody else'!

I think I've been doing things for the 'relationships' and not for those 'people' who I shared the relationship with.

'People' as such have never been very important to me. They have never made me wake up and live my life because my life is precious. It could have been any other life.

They are who they are. I am who I am. And all of us would have done the same things if someone else had gotten lucky enough to be where the other is.

And then I met someone who derives his strength from who "I" am. My actions and thoughts matter to him.

If his purpose in life was to carry a bowl of oil filled to the brim around the world without letting even a single drop spill, my life feels like that oil in his lamp - Irreplaceable. Precious.

It makes me want to create something "with him" and not "for him".

You know "this is it" when you wake up because someone else will live another day the best possible way.

You know "this is it" when you act because you know it will take someone closer to his goals.

You know "this is it" when you do things because you know someone's purpose in life is getting fulfilled.

You know "this is it" when it you know you can say all this :)

Sometimes...

2010-06-27T20:02:00.004+05:30

An interesting conversation from the movie Up in the air:

Natalie: I don't mind being married to my career.
And I don't expect it to hold me in bed as I fall asleep.
I just don't want to settle.

Alex: You're young. Right now you see settling as some sort of a failure.

Natalie: It is...by definition.

Alex: Yeah, but by the time someone is right for you, it won't feel like settling.
And the only person left to judge you will be the 23-year-old girl with a target on your back.

Sometimes...I update this blog just for the heck of it.

Of baskets and balls.

2010-06-06T19:41:00.001+05:30

People in my life don’t cease to amaze me. And neither does my own stupidity.
I just got a call from a very old friend, who I had long given up on. And all it took for me to give up is a long gap in communication. In fact a long gap is exactly what it took for me to give up on many other things in life.

I don’t know how it works but I start living with my stories about things I haven’t touched or people I haven’t been in touch with for a long time. And I am always left a little surprised if ever I get back in touch with them. Surprised to see how they have just not changed.

This friend’s call was not just another call. It was a call to remind me that I am a very lucky person, and that I am blessed with friends who are determined to stand by my side in happiness or sorrow. I have friends who are thrilled for the good things in my life, who don’t think twice before demanding of me to stand by their side on their important days, and much more - even if I think they have forgotten me.

More importantly it was a call to remind me that nothing is lost until it’s really lost. And that giving up is the stupidest thing I do.

Things I see alone...

2010-05-15T09:45:00.003+05:30

I am in the office bus and sitting right next to me is a short, dark, pretty girl with the most beautiful eye lashes I have ever seen. Every 2 minutes her phone goes beep beep and she rushes her fingers on the keypad with the same intensity every time.

With every beep her eyes become bigger and the eyelashes spread out to form a beautiful crescent. The setting sun's rays look stunning through the gaps in her lashes.

With every beep (which is now irritating the hell out of everybody around her) she smiles like she hasn't ever lived in this world.

Every time she types something furiously on the small screen, she looks up to see the setting sun, like she doesn't care it will rise again tomorrow and she will have to live another day and a very real life.

Now the beeps have stopped, her eyes are closed, but the smile is still there...more beautiful than before. She is dreaming...I know.

Looking at her, I cant stop smiling either. :) Love is lovely. It makes you smile at things that never made you smile before.

But it was all gradual :P

2010-04-22T22:55:00.003+05:30

Just to mark the days when I am surer than surest. Happier than happiest.

Landmark.

2010-04-14T17:36:00.003+05:30

High on life.

I created this blog back in 2006, and ever since with every consecutive post I have wondered why did I ever name it “High on life”??? I don’t feel the same. Have I ever even felt it???

I did not post a thing on this blog for the last so many weeks. And so many of you have been extremely kind to write to me and ask me if everything’s fine :)

And I am so glad to tell you all that everything is more than just fine. Life has gone from being just ok to good to great to beautiful in all these days :) and I have some amazing people to thank for it!

But right now one thing which needs to be mentioned above all is the “Landmark education”. I attended the Landmark forum last weekend and my mind feels like someone ran a vacuum cleaner over it. I feel free. Life till now was a pile of dirty laundry and someone just washed it, ironed it, folded it and kept it neatly back in the wardrobe. And now I am free to go do whatever I feel like. My head feels like it’s in a sea of possibilities. Till now I was a fool to think the shit in my life added some spice in this otherwise plain existence. How wrong was I. Today I feel like laughing out loud at the years gone by.

And I also rediscovered the Gunj who named this blog “High on life”. How happy I am to be back here for real :) and I still can’t believe an education only 3 days long can do it for somebody!

P.S.: A big thank you to all those of you who wrote to me asking me about this blog and my life :) Any unpleasant activity that has been happening here in the past will be taken care of very soon. Also please feel free to write to me if you wish to know more about the landmark education.

Cheers to life ;)

Sweet noodles!

2010-02-22T23:50:00.000+05:30

My mind feels like a bowl of noodles these days! So many thoughts entwined, none really leading to anywhere! And it’s difficult to pick up and talk about one...they just keep breaking!

There’s work, where my honeymoon period is over...and now there’s real stuff to deal with. The settling down bit which I don’t think I’ve ever done before.

There’s life as I knew it – travelling, blogging, photography and so much more...part of which I want again.

There’s life as I’ve never known before, all thanks to somebody new. It’s a trance like state; I seem to have lost touch with everything else! And I am definitely not complaining!!!

There are surprises every day, and so many stories to tell, which I hope I soon will :)

For now I have decided to pick up the chopsticks and enjoy this bowl of sweet confusion!!!

Thinking aloud.

2010-02-07T01:08:00.002+05:30

Sometimes life is only as good as the last conversation. :)

the P-F game!

2010-01-31T17:08:00.007+05:30

I haven't been away from this blog for so many weeks at a stretch. Life's been simple, nothing happened that I would want to write about and sort out :) I think I just kept my eyes wide open!

The above doodle is just a summary of whatever came out of the last one month :)

Life is just a P-F game:
Past brings Fears with it
Future brings Promises with it
Gyan guru me thinks Fulfillment is in the Present :)

Arrived in life!! :P

A day without coffee!

2010-01-02T16:13:00.005+05:30

I just spoke to a childhood friend. And I realised I can never open up in front of so many new friends I've made the way I can with the old ones. With a few new people there is always a fear...a fear that they will judge me based on my actions on one day...a fear that they will not really see other things about me, but just that one moment.

Reminds me of a sentence from one of my favorite books- "You are here":

"I love my new friends dearly, but it's comforting to be around people who already know your stories, who can cut through the bullshit and tell you exactly what they think of you, who know when you've made a mistake and love you just the same."

That's just how I feel about my life today...no better words for it :)

Now Playing: Dil haare pukaare tujhe...

Zenani

2009-12-27T13:35:00.004+05:30

“Zenani” is a name from the Xhosa people of Southern Africa. It means “What have you brought to this world?”

Till now I used to think the answer is “nothing”. The world gives us whatever we have today, and takes it away when we leave. When we are born, we learn a lot by way of our different experiences, which carves the way forward. The same life could have been lived differently with even slightly different experiences. We can control the choice we make, but can we control the choices available to us? Our hope, our joy, our sorrow, our approach and much more is defined by the world we live in and not by anything we brought into this world.

But something changed my opinion. I stumbled upon a documentary where a person who had partial speech impairment expressed his desire to share his thoughts, ideas and his poems with the world, which wouldn’t give him enough chance to do so. He simply wanted to talk to people, get to know them and let them know him. He started a club with others like him, and now they all share their thoughts with each other.

He went on to recite one of his poems which made me smile like I never did. And also think about “Zenani” all over again. We definitely have brought something to this world. It comes out in our poems, in our writings, in our paintings, in our creativity, in our work, in our words, in every deed that makes a difference. It is the song in each of us. I know it as imagination.

Through art, we communicate our imagination, our ideas and thoughts to the world. I believe sooner or later, all of us find our own form of art, one which touches us the most and becomes a channel out for our imagination. And that is what we have really brought to this world. And this is what each of us should share with and leave behind in this world.

But why I write this today? There is a reason, the seeds of which come from this post. Will write more about it very soon!

just a choice...

2009-12-13T18:23:00.002+05:30

Yes so this is where I am.

My work means a lot to me because it gave me the freedom I was seeking in life, but more so because it taught me what freedom means. It’s another high when you are looking for something intangible and you get it, especially when you hardly understand it.

But can I talk to my work? Will it talk back to me? Can I hug n pamper it? Will it hug n care for me too? Will it allow me to take it for granted? No, no, no, no & no.
For me, nothing can replace the freedom and strength my work gives me. But at the same time it cannot replace the value any person might hold in my life. I need both of them to carry on in this journey of mine.

But again it’s a choice.

Either I can do nothing about it and let this phase affect the next 31, 61, 92 days...
Or I do something and change the next 31, 61, 92 days for the better.

All it takes is a decision. Of course if you know me, you know I have made mine.

Do I really want to do what I think I want to do?

2009-11-27T19:04:00.003+05:30

Do I really want to do what I think I want to do?

Suddenly I am asking myself this question because it is that time of my life again.
That time when everybody has to decide what do they really want to do in life, where do they really want to go n blah blah blah.

Why can't the honeymoon period last forever?
Why can't I continue to live my life carelessly?
Why do I have to announce to the world what is it that I would like to do for the rest of my life?

Why can't I love one thing today and love another thing tomorrow?
Why do I have to be passionate about some thing today and love it forever and establish myself in one place?
Why do i need to do something for a long time before I start making some real money doing that thing?

Why are we in an era where parents leave(and now also "expect") their kids to pursue their passions? What if the kids don't have any?
Why can't they give us as much money as we want and let us explore the world and the 1000000000 extraordinary things there are to do in this world?

Why haven't I found that one thing in life I would always want to hold on to?
How come clarity is an absolutely inexperienced phenomenon in my life?
Why do I change and so fast?

Should I really go ahead and pursue something else which I think I want to do now?
Do I really want to do what I think I want to do?

Yes I know all the gyan already. You can still bring it on...its nice to see my questions move some people enough to give them the energy to leave me some comments.

And the part 2 for my last post...its not coming...I'm bored.

Love_Aaj_kal part1

2009-11-18T01:04:00.002+05:30

My take on a common girl meets boy story...in the world of social networking, where all of us are just a status msg or green/red dot.

watch out for Love_Aaj_Kal part 2: horny boy meets smart ass! coming up soon!

All Thieves

2009-11-12T22:31:00.002+05:30

Just came back from a theatre festival at the very beautiful Rangashankara theatre in Bangalore. The play I saw was called "All Thieves" (just in case you happen to know that Imaad and Heeba Shah were performing and also that who these two are then I must add that both of them have very bland facial expressions and great dialogue delivery! But are not even a tenth of how talented their parents are)

Coming back to the play, in the introduction bit, they said a beautiful line which I am sure will stay with me for a long time...
"Kuch churana hi hai to kisi ka dil churaiye, aur kabhi kisi ko apne khwab na churaane dijiye"
(If you have to steal something, steal someone’s heart; and never let anybody steal your dreams)

This line touched my heart because I know the importance of dreams. I am who I am because of my dreams.
I always dreamt of a life where I would be living independently, doing things I love to do. I did not know how that was going to happen but I dreamt of the happiness which would come from such a freedom. And today that happiness of my dreams is my reality.

My dreams for the future help me sail through any difficult phase in life. They make decisions for the present easier and give me the strength to hold on.

My dreams help other people know me better. They can be shared and believed in and have helped me form great bonds with some people.

Unlike other things, Dreams Stay. They can be forgotten about completely or simply put away, but they stay. And they become your support system whenever you need them to be one. I wish I am able to give them top priority in life :)

What would you write?

2009-11-03T19:42:00.003+05:30

What would you write on such a wall, where your fears can be erased daily??

If given a chance, today I would write "Power games & battles within"

Would be nice if they get erased :)

it was my birthday...

2009-10-24T13:15:00.003+05:30

It was (x)th my birthday on 22nd October...don’t ask the value of x :P

One which deserves special mention because I felt very different from the Gunjan I was earlier.

In my entire (x-1) years on earth, I haven’t learnt as much as I did in the last one year. Life has changed...like for example now I can’t bear to be in my own house in Delhi for too long; I am ok being alone in my house in Bangalore; I am much more honest with my parents than I was before; I know what it is to be homeless in a new city; the person I used to love earlier and the person I like now are completely different people; I don’t feel hurt too easily now and much more.But apart from the things that have changed, there are a few things that I’ve learnt/unlearnt in the past year. Here’s the list:

Whatever I believe I am today does not hold true till the time my beliefs are put to test on a real life situation
Following my heart is the only thing that will keep me happy...nothing else
I can get whatever I want; only my heart should be in it...but this does not hold true for people I might want
Spending my energies on a few people who genuinely care for me is any day better than caring about too many that don’t
True freedom lies in creativity
All I do is for a little more love. Neither can I accept it, nor can I change it
People make real difference to places...they can make me love or hate places, but I have no control over those very people...they will come in or go out of my life at their own free will
Love will not stay forever, it doesn’t have to...and it will hurt

There is a lot more that I have which I can add to this list but for some, I am unable to put them into the right words and the rest, I’m still waiting for them to become concrete before they can be added to any such list.

I’d like to end this post with a wish...that I get to learn a lot more in the year ahead.

just one day

2009-10-12T01:14:00.003+05:30

Recently I saw this movie where two people meet in a train, start talking and have a great time together. But when they had to part, the guy offered the girl to spend a day with him.

His argument: He had a great time with her and thought it could result into something beautiful if they spend more time together. And he was sure that she felt the same too...so she should give it a try. Because if someday she is married and is unhappy with her life, at least she wouldn’t wonder what if she had accepted his offer and that life could have been better and happier today! And just in case she doesn’t have a good time with him, she wouldn’t have anything to regret.

Of course she agreed to spend time with him. And like anybody can predict, she had a great time with him. But what you might not predict is that by a twist of fate, they don’t end up being together.

And for the rest of her life she knew exactly how beautiful life could be if they were together, but couldn’t do anything about it.

And now I am left wondering...what is better?
"To not know how beautiful life can be with somebody and live with that uncertainty, wishing you knew it?" Or "To know it and then not be able to be with that person?"

In short
What’s better???
“To never know happiness?” Or “To know happiness and then not be able to have it?”

I need new!

2009-10-04T19:38:00.003+05:30

Three long weekends back to back and I’m already bored of these relaxed days. I had fun but these are things I’ve already done enough of. They add nothing more to who I am today.

I want to live for bigger and better things. I want new experiences, new people, new ideas, new everything-and everything happy. Off late I’ve had too many people talking as if certain things are the end of their life. I wish they can see the larger picture soon. I wish I could listen to more optimistic people now.

On that note I will now make a choice. A choice of doing all those things that will add more to my life in the future. Now when I’m away from home with more than enough time on my hand, it’ll be a pity if I let it go waste.

Your ideas are most welcome :)

The age of stupid

2009-09-22T23:15:00.003+05:30

Today I saw "the age of stupid" - a drama-documentary which shows the last person alive in the devastated world of 2055, watching archive footage from 2008 and asking: why didn't we stop climate change when we had the chance?

To be honest the only question that kept coming back to me throughout was why should we save this world?

It looks impossible to me how will we ever change the greed and selfishness of mankind which got us where we are today. Will we ever be able to change the way we think before its all gone.

Does it look as difficult to you as it does to me? May be there is a way to change all of this...but will we do it till each of us is hit real hard? Won't it be too late by then?

My doubts were answered in the film itself, when the last man says "We were not the only species who eradicated themselves, but we were definitely the only ones who did it knowingly. Is it because we dint think we were worth saving?"

YES. Somewhere I do think we are not worth saving.

I'd rather scrape it all off and start afresh than give us another chance.

Talking to myself!

2009-09-13T19:45:00.002+05:30

Hey Gunj...

Long time...we haven’t sat like this, talking to each other...heart to heart.
Missed you bitch! Who else can I tell everything to? Who else will understand this better?
I remember the time when sitting with ‘you’ used to be unbearable. But today it feels just sooo nice. :)

Let me tell you what the last few days taught me...
The good thing about bad days is that they never last, and that makes us happy :)
The bad thing about good days is that they never last either...sad!

“Difficult” is how I’d describe it.
And then a friend asked a very valid question...

”why should it be easy for you?”

Difficult is good...It leaves you a lot more intelligent...it cuts out all the crap about who you think you are...and tells you who you really are.

Whoever said it’s a sin to kill a mocking bird should have told it to the entire world, and not just a handful.

Long pause...

Let’s watch that movie again...where this woman tells a stranger that “I always feel this pressure of being this strong and independent icon of womanhood, not making it look like my whole life is revolving around some guy, but loving someone and being loved means so much to me. Always make fun of it and stuff but isn’t everything we are doing in life, a way to be loved a little more?”

Tell Me Why?

2009-09-07T22:20:00.003+05:30

I was in the bus today, on my way back from office when it started raining heavily outside (Bangalore rains!!!!) & in no time all the windows became foggy.

That's when I saw a girl sitting next to one of the windows run her fingers on the glass to draw hearts :)

Isn't it that one shape most of us draw on the sand at a beach; on cars covered with dust settled for days; foggy windows etc etc??

Isn't it because heart is where we feel real happiness? (Have you ever seen anybody draw brains??)

Then why are most of us scared of listening to what our heart says?? We know it but still consult the brain before we act! Why??? Beats me!

Club 99

2009-08-27T22:30:00.004+05:30

Your time is limited; don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary – Steve Jobs

And I did just that...I followed my heart, I did what I enjoyed most, and with good luck on my side, I landed into a job I now enjoy a little too much.

My graduate degree reads that I am a qualified comp science engineer. But to be very honest I was never really passionate about software. Even after I joined an IT company I continued doing things i enjoyed i.e. visual communications. And as was bound to happen, there were a lot of people telling me to concentrate on things I am paid for rather than things that won’t add to my appraisal sheet.

May be those people made sense but I could never get myself to do things I dint like. And then came an opportunity to get paid for what I love to do. Of course by then I was prepared- prepared to show them I deserve the job and also mentally prepared to make the big shift.

And today I think I couldn’t have made a better decision. Now I get paid to do things I totally love, things I would have done for free otherwise!

I followed my heart and it all fell into the right place.

But this post is not an update on my life. It is a lot more. 3 months into the new job I feel my work is becoming more corporate than creative. I listen to others more than my own heart. I look at my checklist more than my wishlist. And if you are working in a corporate, you know it is sort of unavoidable.

I don’t know where is it going to take me. For now it is much better than doing something I don’t enjoy t all.

Can’t wait for the day when I will get paid to listen to my heart though!

Yeah I know I’m the

club 99 types!! :P

wake up Gunj!

2009-08-18T21:06:00.000+05:30

Sometimes it takes a sweet little ad and a full of himself Amir Khan giving free gyan on TV to remind you of all those things that you wanted to do in life but are wasting your time sleeping!!

At least that is what happened to me last weekend.

Saw this ad on TV where Amir says “Kabhi kisi anjaan station par utar kar dekho, kabhi kisi gumnaam shehar ka ticket katao.”

Suddenly reminded me of all the plans that I use to make of taking a train to an unknown place, and how i would just get down anywhere I feel like, and spend a day just wandering in some village which isn't there on any map...all alone!

I made all those plans when I couldn't do it, and totally forgot about it when I could.

But this time I decided I can't waste more time doing useless things...so I just took a train - not alone...and not to any place which isn't on the map - not because I can't...but because there are always people who want to tag along and they make sure they do tag along; and Reliance network has figured every piece of land possible on earth long before I stepped out to explore the world!;)

Nonetheless I had fun...early morning rush to the railway station, missing the train we bought tickets to, journey in another train minus tickets, a dead railway track and three of us sitting on it, a walk through a village, free food from super sweet villagers, rickety buses and bumpy rides, a beautiful town - kollar, gold fields and hundreds of years old abandoned English villas, a cute little railway station, train journey back home with lovely music in my ears and beautiful moments captured in my camera...a perfect trip :)

Trust me...if you still haven't, then just do it now...its worth it!

Ending with a few more lines from the ad which woke me up to this craziness...

“Be born everyday, aaj rock star, kal pilot; and who knows what the day after.”
“Kabhi kisi anjaan station par utar kar dekho, kabhi kisi gumnaam shehar ka ticket katao.”
“Doosron ki galtiyon se kya seekhna, make your own mistakes, yaar!”
“Har subhah shock your reflection.”
“Bachpan mein toh kya kuchh nahin banna chahte the, why not today?”
“Be born everyday. Be more.”

of perfumes & God

2009-08-06T21:30:00.000+05:30

The thing I love about fancy perfumes is that most of the times the fragrance stays on your clothes, even long after you’ve washed them. They remind you of equally fragrant days in your life.

This morning when I was struggling with a large pile of clothes in my wardrobe, wondering what to wear, I picked up a shirt which was conveniently hidden under the huge stack.

It smelled of my favourite perfume, an expensive one which I use only on special occasions :)

Reminded me of the last time I wore it. Was definitely an evening I’ll never forget.

Here I must mention that I met a beautiful stranger. This person changed my life, showed me new doors & introduced me to real freedom.

Answers to questions like “who I want to be” and “what I want to do” have finally found some leads.

The not so nice part is that my beautiful stranger gave me all this and much more and went away...as if that was the sole reason why we met.

I don’t know if there is God, but the way I keep meeting angels, it forces me to believe there is.

Thank YOU!! And send many more angels :)

Looking inward...

2009-07-30T21:20:00.003+05:30

"When someone mentions the final frontier, we probably think of space exploration. However, many marine biologists would argue that there is a lot more to be learned-and gained-by looking inward and exploring the world's oceans."

For all those who still haven't read Osho, I strongly recommend his book "Freedom".

A revolutionary book, it left me a lot more sorted and opened up doors I did not even know exist.

There is too much to know about one's own self first...the skies can wait. :)

of dead leaves...

2009-07-22T20:52:00.000+05:30

Of late I’ve been looking at the works of a lot of photographers and photography enthusiasts.

And the photographs which I love the most are the ones which look like they are alive even though they are moments frozen in time.

Pictures and frames which you feel like you can enter and become a part of, as if they were not pictures but paused videos, and that it will take only a play button to bring them to life.

And that is exactly the kind of work I would like to do.

I also came across certain pictures which were certainly great shots but ruined due to excessive photoshop editing.

Even though the moments captured were stunning, editing made them look like dead leaves, waiting to be crushed by eyes which will stumble upon them.
R.I.P.

and then life happens...

2009-07-10T23:59:00.001+05:30

Photographing children is just so difficult. They can’t hold a single expression for more than a second.

Last weekend, I was holding the camera, focussing at something so cute, I thought it’s a moment I want to freeze and keep forever. I pressed the shutter, only to realise that the precious moment I wanted to capture, was long gone.

And then I looked at the photo, after which I couldn’t stop smiling!! I found much more beautiful emotions captured in my camera than the ones I was trying to freeze. It was priceless

Just as priceless as life, where most of the times we are running behind things we think will be great for us, will change our lives for the better, will bring us all the happiness we ever want!

But what we get is totally different and so much more beautiful.

Just the same seems to be happening to my life too right now. All those things I wanted a few years ago, all those things I thought could make my life perfect...I got none of them.

And all those things I had not expected at all, have happened! And they have brought me so much joy, that now I wouldn’t want to trade them for any dream on earth.

But at the same time, I don’t want to fight to keep them either. Because now I know, the unexpected is always better ...very exciting and a lot more fun!!

Just glad!!

2009-06-30T19:04:00.005+05:30

Some people come in your life only to make it more beautiful...

only to show you there's a better way to live this life...

Hurts when they have to leave.

Ever wished you had met them a little early in life?? Ever wished you had spent more time together??

Strange that in my last post I wrote about not being able to find any interesting people...and today I wish I had a little more of someone's time.

Right now I'm just glad our paths crossed :) I guess God has his own plans for all of us!!

peace oye!

2009-06-18T00:09:00.001+05:30

I haven’t met a single person who can hold my interest for more than a few weeks, in a long time now. Sucks!!!

I get bored so easily.
And the worst part is, there are so many people around but it’s still so hard to find some likeminded people!

But the good part is these days I find it easier to just be with myself, I don’t have to suffer useless company all the time...feels good...
Feels a lot better. :)

a trough!

2009-06-04T23:05:00.003+05:30

I feel like I am on the trough of a roller coaster ride.

Can't wait to hit the high again!!

Saw "My big fat Greek wedding last night"...ever since I've been wishing for a bit of magic in my life too!!!

Wish it would just change gears and turn into a fairytale!!!

For now my flatmate seems to be providing the right background music:

Where do you go when you're lonely??

Where do you go when you're blue??

hope to blog about a crest next week... prayers!!

A letter to my life...

2009-05-28T00:06:00.002+05:30

Hey Bitch,

I can see you are doing good...just stay the same :)

Love,

High on you- Gunj.

in-screw(t)able women

2009-05-20T22:18:00.005+05:30

Ever had a moment where all you can do is laugh uncontrollably at a friend’s misery…you’re feeling bad for the poor thing but the situation is a bit too funny for you to show any sympathy at all ??

I just had one…Depressed friend (DF) who falls in love a little too easily is in love again :P

And Miss counselor- that's ME was in full mood to irritate him :D

Here’s a glimpse of our conversation:-

DF: why do girls promise to call me back and then never do so??

ME: its simple…if a girl doesn’t call you back then it means she is genuinely not interested in you, you are not on her mind at all!

And whenever she does, it means she is still not sure about how much money you have in the bank :P

DF: aah you good for nothing, brainless girls!! ^$^$^#%#$

ME: well yeah baby, if sex required any brains, you men would have been good for nothing too :P :P

DF: grrrr….inscrutable women!!

ME: n "in-screw(t)able" too- for men like you :D

Oh peace oye :P

god's reminder call!

2009-05-14T23:16:00.004+05:30

God has his own ways of reminding us how beautiful life is, and last night he gave me a reminder call!!

I was out with a friend on one of our usual post dinner long walks, talking about some serious stuff-the regular bull shit about life you discuss with people on your low energy days. We were sitting on a bench thinking about our lives, where we have come and how and why and bla..bla..bla..

We of course did not realise how worthless our not so happy discussion is, after all it was about life and days which have already passed us by.

And then god gave us a reminder call...one which I am sure both of us will not forget for many a days to come!!

We saw a cute little girl with curly hair n chubby cheeks, dressed in red pyjamas, Minnie mouse on her shirt, and furry baby pink flip flops on her feet, enter the street where we were sitting.

Looking like a doll, she was running as fast as her short legs n baby feet would let her, laughing in a voice which sounded like wind chimes playing in my ears!!

And then we saw a beautiful lady...the angel’s mother of course, running behind her, trying hard not to run too fast...trying to let her princess win in the hide n seek game they were playing behind the row of cars parked on the street.

And then she caught hold of her daughter...my guess is even she found it impossible to let the little bundle of joy be out of her sight even for a few seconds!!

She lifted the baby high up in the air, and the little one laughed harder n louder...almost filling the space between my ears with her musical voice.

And suddenly we realised we were not the only ones loving the moment...behind the mother n daughter duo was a tall n handsome man...yes the lucky husband n luckier father...he was quietly following the two, a huge smile on his face, real happiness in his eyes!!

The three of them passed us by; totally lost in their little cute happy world (touchwood)...our eyes followed them till the end of the street...our ears yearning for more of that pleasant noise...they left us with big smiles on our faces!!

There was silence now, none of us had the guts to disturb the moment we just witnessed by even trying to put the joy we felt into words.

All I could do was thank god in my heart, for reminding there is a lot of life left, so much to look forward to, so many bigger joys still left to experience and so many smiles which will hurt my cheeks in the future.

Before this, I didn’t wanna grow up n see life get more complex, but If growing up means life could be that beautiful one day, I would definitely not mind it!!!

Now playing: Good feeling won’t you stay with me, just a little longer!

my mirror!

2009-05-05T22:52:00.004+05:30

Here is something I have always believed in but could never put into the right words! And then came across this poem, which does absolute justice to my thoughts and it’s got to be here:-

The good you find in others, is in you too.
The faults you find in others are your faults as well.
After all, to recognize something you must know it.

The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well.
The beauty you see around you is your beauty.
The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are.

To change your world, you must change yourself.
To blame and complain will only make matters worse.
Whatever you care about, is your responsibility.
What you see in others shows you yourself.

See the best in others, and you will be your best.
Give to others, and you give to yourself.
Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful.
Admire creativity, and you will be creative.

Love, and you will be loved.
Seek to understand, and you will be understood.
Listen, and your voice will be heard.
Teach, and you will learn.

Sometimes I wish I could meet all those people who made me go “MEE TOOO” in all that they wrote!

witness.

2009-04-26T15:04:00.002+05:30

Some thoughts are like unwanted guests. They refuse to leave your mind till the time you don’t give them enough attention!
This one won’t free up my disk space without being posted here:-

We need a witness to our lives. There are a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'.
-Shall we Dance.

Namma Bengaluru

2009-04-20T00:21:00.001+05:30

Finding a decent place to live is almost impossible.
If it’s good, it’s definitely occupied!

Transport rates are sky high.
Kingfisher airlines: at times just 5 Rs. /km. Bengaluru autos: all that you have in your pocket/number of kms!!
Mr. Mallya should think about the auto rickshaw business to get richer!!

I hardly understand the local language.
Do is maadi and give is kodi. :P that’s it!!

The air is so polluted.
Soon I’ll be “high on pollution”.

The roads overcrowded and jammed.
People people everywhere, not one willing to leave!

But you know what?? I still love it!!!
Wouldn’t trade it for anything on earth!

what lies ahead...

2009-04-13T00:41:00.002+05:30

What is it about moving to new cities that is so intimidating?

At first I thought may be its only going away from home and leaving your comfort zone that’s scary, but it’s time for me to move again, from a city which has never been my home- Mysore, to a city I am a bit familiar with- Bangalore.

And it’s still as scary as the first time when I left Delhi to come to Mysore.

Right now it feels like an arranged marriage-I never wanted to come here in the first place, I had my own prejudices, but when I finally landed here, it was love at first sight.

I smelt freedom in its polluted air and lots of space for my mind in its overcrowded streets!

I’ve had a good enough courtship period with the city, and it’s been all that I could ever ask for.

It gave me a chance to fulfil all my dreams and a lot more. It’s the land of opportunities which brought out the better part of me. It was a love affair of my dreams.

But marriages come with their own issues, and so do living in new cities! And like all newlyweds, I have my own apprehensions too!!

What if daily issues of a big city swallow me and eat up all my time??

What if I get lost in the crowd? What if the learning process slows down because of all the other things I will have to take care of?

What if I don’t meet the right people? What if my expectations are more than what I will get from the city?

What if it ends up like entering a party where everybody is having a good time and I feel like the outsider?

"And like all marriages, I’m of course nervous but a little excited too!! "

Excited about all the things which can go right; about all the apprehensions which can shatter; about all the romance which lies ahead and about life which is yet to begin.

For now, like all other inexperienced ones, I will have to settle with an old lady’s advice: “go live your life the best way you can. And don’t worry, because if there will be more people, there will definitely be more takers for what you have to offer!!”

Life is calling again...here I come!!

only if...

2009-04-05T10:13:00.005+05:30

' You'll be able to see the colors, only if you're in love!!'

==========================================

I’ve had great conversations with certain people...
I’ve fallen a little more in love with each ‘me too’...
I’ve grown a little fonder with each joke we shared...
I’ve sung “wish you were here” every time I’ve felt lonely in a crowd...

I’ve had them with me too...
Only to realise ‘first times’ cannot be repeated...

The same conversations are not equally magical when you have them again...

The same people are not as desirable when you know them a little more...

'The bubble does burst under the weight of the image it reflects.'

perfect days...

2009-03-25T22:58:00.006+05:30

Bunking office + spicy Andhra style lunch + awesome ‘mausam’ + visit to the zoo + great coffee + drive to the hilltop + a beautiful sunset + an even better view of the city lit up with orange lights + good conversations + wonderful friends + stars below you + a feeling of happiness beyond your imagination...

And the cherry on top...
Old forgotten (weird) songs from your childhood:-

-Mustapha Mustapha don’t worry Mustapha...
-Unchi hai building lift teri band hai...
-Ek garam chai ki pyali ho...
-Ek ho gaye hum aur tum to ud gaye ninde re...
-Ankh mare oh ladka ankh mare...
-Telephone dhun mein hasne wali...
-Urvashi Urvashi take it easy Urvashi...
-Dekho barish ho rahi hai, it’s raining it’s raining (Thank you mista Anu Malik for all the laughs!!)

There is something about childhood memories.
Even a tinge of that innocence, a hint of the same smiles, a tune of the same old songs, can keep you happy and smiling all day!!

That’s what perfect days are made of!!!
I had one today :)

I was up there again...

2009-03-19T09:54:00.010+05:30

Last weekend I was at Sikandgiri again...a beautiful moonlight trek...and with loads of friends around, it just couldn't get better. :)
Here is all that I clicked:-

The city from the top just before sunrise.

I believe I can fly...

A beautiful sunrise, it just stays with you for many days to come.

We came, We saw, We sat...

Clear blue sky...

The campfire.

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”

a different rain dance

2009-03-12T23:49:00.003+05:30

Scent of wet soil...
Pakoraz with hot coffee...
Rimjhim gire sawan on the radio...
The entire family in one room...
Plans of going to India gate for a drive...
All cousins in one car...circling around CP...fighting for window seats...
Sneezing at night...sipping ginger tea...

Rains were a different season back at home!!!

changing seasons...

2009-03-04T23:48:00.005+05:30

The only time changing seasons made any “real” difference to me was when I was in love. I clearly remember feeling the wind in my hair and noticing each falling leaf.

Now it feels like just another dusty weather after a long dry winter.

It's not the person who I miss today, but the feeling...it used to make me sing :)

Sham se ankh mein nami si hai...
aaj phir aapki kami si hai...

I WANT TACOZ!

2009-02-26T09:25:00.002+05:30

I see people around me and I wonder what it takes to be really proud of who you are?
What gives people the confidence to be really happy with themselves?
What is that they have and I don’t?
Why am I still so insecure and they so content and pleased with their lives? How does their ego look hard earned and mine superficial?

Somebody recently asked me “what is it that you want to change about yourself?”
And I said, “I want to do this, this and that in life to be able to say- now I am happy with myself...no actually I want to learn to be happy with myself the way I am.”

But now when I think about it, there really are things I want to change.

Most importantly I want values to call my own, morals I will always stick to.
I want to know myself better, things I hate, things I love, things I will never do, things I will always do, people I will never leave, memories I will always keep, and dreams I will always pursue.

I just want to be sure about myself. All these things I don’t know.

But there is one thing I do know- I hate to use the phrase “I don’t know.”

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

2009-02-16T12:22:00.002+05:30

Got this as a forward, and loved it so much that there was no way it could have gone into my folders without being here.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
Something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A youth she's content to leave behind...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
One friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
A feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to fall in love without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
When to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That she can't change the length of her calves, the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
That her childhood may not have been perfect...but it’s over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
How to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
Where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

your words your strength!

2009-02-09T21:06:00.008+05:30

These days I have been attending soft skills sessions where the one thing that gets repeated the most is the need for good articulation skills to be able to climb up the corporate ladder.

And I totally agree with it. In fact this is what I had read long time ago and has stayed with me ever since:-

"To be a manager you have to be articulate and vocal in expressing your ideas and expectations in order to communicate effectively. You should be able to convey what you need and be direct about it. It is often noted that people with good communication and language skills make it big and move ahead of others who are just good workers. There's nothing like a great vocabulary at your command to help you vehicle your thoughts and ideas and make them executable. It is advantageous if a manager is a good speaker, this proves that the person has a certain level of confidence and communication abilities."

Most of the times I too feel the lack of right words to express myself. But the problem with vocabulary has always been that I would remember certain words for a week, and when it comes to actually using them, I keep struggling to recollect them. And thus I gave up trying to learn more words, thinking with time I will eventually learn a few more, which sadly didn’t happen.

But recently a friend introduced me to a visual dictionary called weboword, which comes up with super cute visuals for new words every day, depicting the meaning and usages of those words.

I registered on this site and they send me one word everyday on my mail. Something I am sure I will benefit from because it is so easy to remember them.

Really thought its worth sharing because I know so many of you are preparing for your GRE/GMAT/CAT ga ga ga... This definitely seems like something which will help us all learn and express better.

Register here to get started : www.weboword.com

Men & Money!

2009-02-05T22:12:00.004+05:30

Last week I saw the very overhyped ‘Slumdog Millionaire’. Even though I loved the three kids, who I really think were brilliant, I still felt it wasn’t too great a concept. Haven’t we already seen too many Indian directors bank on the ‘bhukka nanga Indian turned millionaire’ story?? I know not many of you agree with me, but please don’t bother coz this post isn’t about the movie and I am not going to criticize it any further.

There was a scene in the movie where the policeman tells Mr. Slumdog that ‘women and money are the two reasons why men commit most mistakes in their lives’. Now what struck me as funny was the fact that I still haven’t come across any guy for whom this might hold true. All of them have been too strong in the head to be called emotional fools and sensible enough to let money become the driving force in their lives. (lucky me?? I know!)

But I do know quite a few women whose lives have been dictated by men and money!! (I can't say if those are mistakes,coz I don't know what life has in store for them)

Someone was with an ass coz he was too rich to be resisted, another one left her lover coz his pockets weren’t heavy enough for her. There’s one who is constantly fucking her brain coz of an insensitive pig, and there’s a chick who is with a guy coz only he can follow her like her pet dog (I like her by the way :P). Another super sexy-the ‘capable of getting anything she wants’ category girl is ready to make any compromise for her man coz she has come to believe that girls have to make them for a good catch!

And we still can’t have enough of cursing men :P

At times I do wish that no woman gave up the song in her, just to be with a man.

jaago re. ok!

2009-01-29T23:55:00.006+05:30

Losing a sense of time is an easy way to lose one's grip and even one's sanity.
- Nelson Mandela

I know I’ve already mentioned here once before that I feel even though life has given me a lot in the last four months, I simply have no account of what I have gained from or lost to it. And it definitely wasn’t a nice feeling, just pure lack of control over my life.

Not knowing enough about the outcome of my actions; not knowing what my next action would be; not deciding my actions based on what I wished to learn; feeling as if time just flew away; not knowing my long term goals and a lot more was creating a void of its own in my life, which I was trying to fill with lesser things, unimportant people and their views.

But none of it felt good in my heart.

And in a very “agar aap vote nahi kar rahe hain to aap so rahe hain...inko chai pilao” type moment, I met somebody who opened my eyes to this void and the fact that I already knew what I needed to do to fill it, but I was just not doing it.

And then I realised if now I don’t take account of my life, it will definitely pass me by. I needed to have my own foot on the accelerator of my life and my own hands on its steering.

And I am really happy to be able to write this here that I’ve now started doing things which have made the path I am walking visible to me. I finally have a to-do list and short term goals all clearly laid out. And trust me, it’s a great feeling.

I won’t say now I have absolute control over my life. I don’t know if anybody can ever have it. But having a destination in mind sure makes the journey easier.

robbed!

2009-01-21T23:45:00.005+05:30

She couldn’t stop crying today. Every time I asked her what’s wrong she just did not reply. And finally after a day of endless battles within herself, she gave in and said it was ‘unfulfilled expectations’ that was causing her so much pain.

To which I told her what a wise lady once told me-‘whatever you expect of people around you,love, acceptance, care or may be just their time- they can’t give it to you, simply because they don’t have it in them to give...and every day of their lives, they too expect and wait for others to give it to them...just like you. So whatever you want, be the one to give it to yourself and never will you cry again. Peace will be yours to have.’

Listening to this my friend snapped back at me, saying ‘but how can you not expect things of your parents or your best friends or your boyfriend?? Weren’t all these people meant to fulfil your expectations? Or wasn’t being nice all your life meant to fetch you goodness?? Wasn’t loving meant to get you love in return?? How do I love without any strings attached?? Then how do I love at all??’

To which I simply didn’t have any answer. Because when it bloody hurts-all the wisdom on earth falls apart!!

All this reminds me of this line I had once read:

‘Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply. Let him not laugh too gladly when the water runs through his fingers, nor stand too silent when the setting sun makes red the veld with fire. Let him not be too moved when the birds of his land are singing, nor give too much of his heart to a mountain or a valley. For fear will rob him of all if he gives too much.’

You are here...so am I.

2009-01-13T23:35:00.004+05:30

I recently read this book called “You are here” by Meenakshi Reddy Madhavan. Simply loved it. Majorly because there was so much in it that I could relate to. And it couldn’t have gone back to my shelves without this being here:-

“I was just about as commitment-phobic as anyone else, that I cleverly masked my phobia by only dating men who were emotionally unavailable, which tricked me into thinking that what I really wanted was to be in a relationship.”

And

“Some of us thrive on having our minds messed with, our hearts constantly in a churn of adrenalin. As long as our fix is met, of people who will play basketball with our hearts and minds, we somehow feel justified in being the victims. Well I was done with being the victim.”

And I thought I was the only one.

Once again...kaash ye zindagi, khel hi khel mein kho gayi hoti...

Higher in life :)

2009-01-07T00:31:00.002+05:30

New year started with another trek...one which took me above the clouds!
Skanda Giri hills(70 km from Bangalore), is a must see place.
Some Goan wine, cashews and bonfire before the sunrise simply made our day!
Definitely an experience I'm gonna cherish and be proud of for the rest of my life.

"All our lives we long to reach high above the clouds...but once there, we mostly long for the ones we left far behind."

country roads took me home...

2008-12-28T22:35:00.004+05:30

Family is family.
You don’t have to call them up and ask if they are free for you, weekday or weekends, they are always there, wanting to be with you, and you always want to be with them too.

It’s never a need based relationship, you aren’t important to each other because any of you is alone and bla bla... they are important without a reason.
Their love is unconditional and they don’t keep looking for a reason why you love them so much.

They never judge you, they never have to, they know you and love you just the same.
And the best part...after a good or bad or whatever day together, they will still be there the next morning when you get up, making you feel important and wanted, without even trying.

That’s what certain friends and my folks are to me...people who love me beyond reason and add some worth to my life.
And so I went home :)

Went home when I could have gone on a nice holiday, done what I like to do the most-travelling.

But family was on my mind. Feeling the love and importance once again was on my mind. And so I took the next flight home and surprised everybody. Was definitely a great feeling seeing so many genuine smiles.

Life makes a lot more sense there. I think it’s because of people who know I’m theirs forever and vice-versa.

I don’t know why am I thinking of this particular scene from “The Shawshank Redemption” where Morgan Freeman after serving a prison sentence for 40 years wants to go back to the prison because he thinks his life makes more sense back there.

Well I have no intention of staying at home because it makes more sense there. In fact I love my life here in Mysore, it makes a little sense too!

And it will be really nice if my life makes sense wherever I go.

On that note herez wishing you all a happy year ahead, filled with many many happy family days, with or without them :)
>:D<

mere desh mein...

2008-12-19T22:39:00.007+05:30

Just saw a brilliant ad on TV which had this jingle saying...”mere desh mein paisa sirf paisa nahi hai”- in my country, money is not just money, it means a lot more to my countrymen.
People throw coins in rivers and make wishes, old women use money to ward off evil eye, villagers use coins to make ornaments, men wear garlands of notes on their weddings, and for the rest money is the best gift!! A sign of love, the brightest jewel, the sweetest dream, or just an auspicious sign-the perfect blessing!

This ad by ING Corporate managed to strike a chord simply because it has captured the essence of our country just perfectly. Even the smallest of things matter to people here. We attach a lot of emotion to everything we do. We hold our values very close to our hearts and also strive hard to keep them alive and pass them on to our future generations.

I’ve come across so many people till now and almost 9 out of 10 want to marry a person who they think will be able to pass on the right values to their children. I’m not really sure why exactly is it important to them but it definitely does a huge deal of good to a country of more than one billion people where losing your identity is as easy as losing another cell-phone.

Looking at how our politicians use culture to divide people, one might wonder if it is really important to know your roots, only to realise later how well it differentiates you from other people. But at the same time, what we can definitely not doubt is the fact that it’s our consciousness of our respective cultures, which gives us this immense sense of belonging to our land and the strength to fight for our right to a safe and peaceful life here. It is this very emotional attachment to all little things we do that tells us- this land is our home and not just another house.

There are a lot of things to be angry about in our country, but when I see even a handful of people stand against all the wrong, it fills with me with so much hope and optimism, that I refuse to acknowledge the harm already done, because if not for all that, we wouldn’t have met the best in and amongst us.

all we needed was love!!

2008-12-14T23:20:00.007+05:30

Feeling terribly lonely today...for no reason at all...okay some reason .

Pal bhar ke liye koi hume pyar kar le...jhootha hi sahi??? nayyyy!!!

"Perspective is a luxury when your head is constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons" - The Kite Runner

taking account...may be.

2008-12-07T00:29:00.006+05:30

image credits

Last weekend I saw ‘Dasvidania’, and since then a particular scene from the movie hasn’t left my mind. It has planted itself in my brain, forcing me to take account of my life.

The story is of a guy, played by Vinay Pathak, who is going to die in three months and he realises he still hasn’t done anything worthwhile and how he finally makes sure he does certain things he always wanted to and says a happier goodbye to the world!!

In one of the last scenes, he is shown sitting in his balcony with his brother, telling him about how he bought that house thinking he would come back home every day from office and sit in that balcony-sipping tea, enjoying the view , cherishing life...but ended up doing all those things “not even once”!!
All he did in that balcony was dry clothes and all he could ever see was stains on those clothes.

It’s simply not strange anymore seeing people talk about how they lost time chasing dreams or just sailing with the tides in their lives. Almost everybody I know talks about how they let life pass them by and did not enjoy the simpler things in life.

And there is me, who doesn’t have anything to chase right now, and even though there are lots of reasons to smile in my life, and no joys wasted, I just don’t have an account of anything. I have no idea what/where/when did I gain or lose from anything that ‘happened’ to me.

I am happy but life is still passing me by. It’s definitely not the way I would want it to be. I want a plan and I want to know I succeeded in making it true. I don’t want to call things which have just happened to me on their own, ‘achievements’ anymore. I want to know what I want to do next and work hard for it.

Right now my company knows more about what they want from me and how they are gonna get it. Good for them!! But I want to be the one to determine what will I do and how. Only then will it be any good for me.

Well right now I can’t help but think of my dad, who in my opinion, has no regrets at all. Even though he did not choose his line of work, but he made sure he had his own goals even there and did not let his work dictate his life. All that he learnt added to the person he is today. Also never did he miss out on any of the small joys that came his way and always lived life to the fullest.

He has been a dedicated and involved father, always aware of what was happening in his children’s lives, making sure he was doing everything possible to make our lives better. I couldn’t have asked for anything more/better.

Even if I manage to be half as successful as him in life, I’ll consider my life worthwhile.
Prayers.

My first Trek

2008-11-26T00:45:00.003+05:30

My first trek ever!!!

Destinations add meaning to journeys...they make all the effort worth it :)

looking forward to many more........

http://www.mysterytrails.com/MMHillsToNaagaMale.htm

seeking answers.

2008-11-15T23:14:00.003+05:30

Why do I have so many voices in my head?
Why is recognizing and listening to my own voice so difficult right now?
Why is it so bloody hard to control my urges?
Why does spending money on absolutely useless things give me so much pleasure?
What do certain people have against me?
Does love really never die?
Is giving second chances at the cost of your ego a good idea?
Why are small things in life always overlooked when they are really the ones which bring real pleasure?
Why do people leave? Why is it important for those to stay who took away a lot of our efforts?
How did I manage to change so much in the last six months? Where is the old me? Is this the real me or was that the real me?
Where is my life headed?
How come future and my career are the least of my concerns now?
Why do reasons become so important?
What if.....?
Why are all my thoughts so scattered? What does it take to organise them? what does it take to get life sorted?
How come I am so happy with my life when according to certain voices in my head, people as confused as me can’t really be happy!!?

Just some questions I am seeking answers to....still no luck!!
How I wish everything could be googled!!

Hope n Faith :)

2008-11-08T01:19:00.001+05:30

Ok this is something I wanted to write in my last post only but since my family had come to visit me here in Mysore, of course I dint have much time...and I felt on top of the world to have them here with me :D
But this post isn’t about their visit but what I learnt about religion on my trip to Bangalore.

As I already mentioned, I met some wonderful blogmates in Bangalore, one of them was Love Joshi who invited me over to his place for some home cooked Gujrati food by his lovely wife Tana.
Now a total sucker for good food that I am, I just couldn’t resist the temptation and what came my way was a great evening packed with two wonderful people- Love and Tana, great conversations, awesome ‘Gujrati theple’, a huge bowl of ice-cream, my first bike ride ever and a learning which I am definitely gonna treasure for the rest of my life.

It was my Diwali break when I made the trip, and being from the north, where Diwali is a major festival celebrated with great pomp, I definitely couldn’t make out if it was the same festive season here in the south, which people go crazy about in the north!! Everybody did have holidays n all that but it was just very different from the festivities I was used to in Delhi.

But when I visited Love n Tana, they were lighting up their house and doing some pooja for Diwali. It finally felt like its Diwali n that it was a real home, unlike houses of other friends who stay away from home. When I entered their place it felt as if till now I had been wandering and the two of them preparing for the pooja seemed like people with a real life and a real purpose to it.

I personally am just a lazy person who never really believed in too many rituals and whatever I had done till date was may be only to please my dad. I do believe in god and the max I thought I could do was simply to be a good person.

But seeing Love n Tana do that pooja made me realise religion doesn’t only mean believing in preaching’s of some God or spiritual book or some random blind faith. Most importantly religion is about blind faith in one’s own self, which gives you a sense of belonging to the place you call home and also immense control over your life. Yes it all lies in the little things one would do in the name of worshipping god. No wonder people want to be at home on such days!!!

In that moment, those two people seemed to be happy that they have control over their life and powerful enough to determine the course of their life ahead, simply because their life belonged to them and not to any weird situations which could control it, which also allowed them such great pleasure in the prayers and festivities.

May be I am making no sense at all, but you gotta experience it to know how it feels. Religion, rituals and worshipping definitely make more sense to me now than ever before!!

And for all this, a biiiiggggg thank you to Love and Tana!! Hugs>:D<

'THE' trip!!

2008-10-31T00:25:00.002+05:30

Last week was totally crazyyyy!!
Suddenly just everything is going right and i definitely am having the time of my life.
And the best thing that I have to share with all you guys is that “The secret” worked for me!!
Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy
For all those of you who don’t know what “the secret” is then it’s a book which basically applies the law of attraction to one’s thoughts. Whatever you think or want, you attract that into your life. (therez lots more to the book but I’m not getting into the details here:P)
And honestly for me, a lot of things that I had thought of or wished for always has now come true.
Since forever now, I wanted to travel alone, and as luck would have it, i finally did that here :d was the bestest feeling on earth.
I travelled to and around Bangalore all by myself, and also met a bunch of wonderful people, most of them blogmates :D

The trip turned out to be more of self discovery than just pure pleasure, thanks to all those i met. Not that I didn’t have fun, I most definitely did...I shopped till I dropped, ate to my heart’s content n walked around town like crazies :D

But most importantly I learnt a lot about myself and who I want to be. There’s a lot more still left to be figured out though, this seems to be a great start!!
More on all that when I have everything sorted in my head!! Till then, the best part about the trip was that I had just myself to please, nobody to listen to or nobody to guide me. Just me and my heart’s wish :D it definitely was one of the bestest things I’ve done in my life!!
Like yayyyyyyyyyyy:D

Also last week I had my buttday(birthday), n like always there were multiple celebrations :D a lot of fun especially when I was expecting it to be the most boring buttday ever!!!

N ofcoz there was Diwali, for which I gathered all my friends for a mock pooja of sorts!! Even though nothing was proper as it used to be back at home, but it still felt like home away from homeJ the whole thing taught me a lot about religion, which I shall surely write about in my next post!!
Not now coz my family has come to visit me here in Mysore, all the way from Delhi!!
I am soooper happy after finally seeing them after a full one month :D

Also tomorrow is my first salary day :D
Yipppeeee :D

Signing off with lotsa prayers for all you guys!! Hope you all had a great Diwali and are still having a good time!! :)

Bigggg huggggss >:D<

status update!!

2008-10-20T01:44:00.002+05:30

Dats ofcoz me in the picture, having truckloads of fun in mysore!!

like yayyyyyyyyy!!

tag a long!!

2008-10-11T02:45:00.003+05:30

Pavi tagged me recently and this is probably the first time ive taken up tag without letting centuries pass. here it goes...

1.If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
I will tell him to fuck off!!

2. if you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
Ummmmm, the rest of my life should become what the world can only dream of :)and wish for!! :D
I know I’m greedy :P

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
The hot guy on the first floor of boy’s hostel!! Hez smoking away his sexiness:P

4. Why do you blog?
Because the Hindustan times will never publish the kind of crap I write!

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
Male best friend or female best friend?? What kinda love are you talking about anyways?? Be specific plissss.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Get a life!! Being blessed is something else dude;)
Ranbir knows it!! Yeah the kapoor!

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
Only till I don’t find someone else!!

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
Tell his secret to the world!!!! Huhahahahaha

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
Remove this guy called rimesh heshamiya from the face of this planet!!

10. What takes you down the fastest?
Bad food!!

11. What resurrects you the fastest?
Good food!!

12. What’s your fear?
Weight gain!!!! :(

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Pavi!!!! Very sorted n balanced!! :)

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Rich n married!

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Talk to papa on the fone!!!

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
The richer one!!

17. Would you give all in a relationship?
I won’t share my food!! Rest all can be managed!!

18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
Forgive I will, forget I won’t!!

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Another relationship question n I will kill you!!

20. Tag 6 people.
There are sooo many ppl I want to bug right now!!
Finding just 6 will be tough, so like all good engineers, I shall skip it.:P

time

2008-10-03T00:51:00.001+05:30

I'm lovin it here in mysore :D
Freedom
Five star treatment
Fuckin cool guys
The tripple F has added more spice to my life :D
Like yayyyyyyyyyyy ;)

I also got a chance to attend meditation classes here, & our guru here is a 61 year old woman who’s extremely cool!!
In the last session she made us meditate on the word “TIME”

Simply qouting from what she said,
“of all important things in life, time is the most precious. When you are with a lover, time flies by; when you are doing something you dont like, time stops like it has been eternity.
Time is in the mind, you are the one who can make it, as much as you want, for whatever you wish to”

I wanna make lots of time to make the most of all the opportunities i have here and most of all do my training well.
I just wish that happens for me, n i dont act carelessly,like i used to back in college!!

new life new beginning :D

2008-09-28T17:37:00.005+05:30

Life’s good baby, thanks to naice hawt men!! ;)
Like just now I wanted to cry, coz I saw mum dad cry uncontrollably when they came to see me off at the airport!! :(
(For all those who wanted to know, I’m going to Mysore- yeah, Infy!!)
But then I spotted two hawt men in the same flight as mine, n life was goooooood again!! :D
I can’t help but think about that scene from the movie “bachna ae hasino”, where Ranbir is on his way to Australia. His friend goes, “cheers to new life, new job n new girls” ;) (men in my case :P)
I can already hear that song in the the background.....

in my life i have seen the sun shine

in my life i v felt the rain

through the livid through the fire

iv been thru all of life sweet gain

but how do i get to heaven

know that i am only human

how do i reach perfection

life is strangei need a change

a new life a new beginning

tell me what life’s waiting for me

a new life a new beginning

i m ready for my world my destiny

Oooooh, one of the hotties just locked eyes with me :D
I'm lovin it :D
I really gotta concentrate more on him!!
Ciao!

dilli mein sadda dil! :)

2008-09-18T23:47:00.002+05:30

Finally it’s time to go.
My job starts in 10 days from now, for which I will have to leave my city and move to another.
Thankfully it’s a job and life I never ever wanted, so I have no idea how am I gonna deal with it, but that exactly is what I’m hoping will make it fun.

And I definitely do know god makes the best decisions for all of us. As Harivansh Rai Bachchan has put it…

mann ka ho to acha,
mann ka na ho to zada acha!

Coz when things don’t happen as you would wish ‘em to be, they happen as god would like it, and his wish can never be wrong. :)

I am gonna miss home for sure. This happens to be the first time ever that I am gonna step out and be on my own! So I am both excited and nervous at the same time! :D :D

But my life isn’t just within the walls of this house, which I can probably pack and take away with me.

It also isn’t just with family and friends who can book a ticket and fly down whenever I miss them.

My life is also in this city, my city, which we lovingly call saddi dilli- our Delhi!
It’s my zone of comfort, my area of control;
It’s a place where I can take a wrong turn and still not feel lost;
It’s a place where I can proudly guide people where and when to go; where nobody can fool me because they know I am not an outsider;
It’s a city where every nook and corner has a story of my crazy days with friends associated with it;
It’s a city where I know exactly where to go for crow watching and shopping at the same time :P ;
It’s a city where I can say whatever to whoever and laugh with them at the end of it all! ;
It’s a city where all it takes to get anybody on your side is a few words in Punjabi, (after which they treat you like their relatives);
It’s a city where all my fav foods are easily available anytime I crave for them;
It’s a city where loud music blaring from the cars makes you want to call your friends and go crazy all over again;
And lottttsss more, nothing of which can be packed and taken along at any cost, neither will I like it that way!

I am just gonna miss everything about this city like crazies!! For the love of it, I know I’ve got to come back!!
Signing off with the song on my lips…

Na maaye na bhej mujhe main nai jana pardes…
Jis ranjhe sang saans judi wo ranjha hai is des re…
Main nai jana khairheyan de naal…

Muuuuaaaaahhhh dilli meri jaan!

Hypocrite me!

2008-09-12T03:37:00.000+05:30

On certain days I can’t help but “hate” myself!

In spite of publicly announcing I am a feminist n bla bla bla, I did something so ridiculous that my grand daughters will be ashamed of me too!

It so happened that I was in a mall with one of my friends, and we saw a group of very smartly dressed girls with oriental features! My friend pointed them out to me telling me how smart all of them looked in their shorts n skirts n tank tops!

And my immediate reaction was “oh chinki sluts”!!

I mean who gave me the right to say that about any girl on earth, especially somebody I don’t even know!

Just because I’ve heard people say certain things about their views on sex, doesn’t give me the license to talk shit about them!

Just because they choose to wear whatever they are comfortable in or whatever they like, doesn’t give me the right to make such filthy statements, when the truth is that may be in my entire life, I cannot wear anything like that and look half as good as those girls!

Being a girl myself, I have added responsibility of not doing or saying anything which would disgrace me or any other girl for that matter, but my instinct is sick I guess, that made me say something like that, even if that was just to a friend.

And the worst part is so many of us are conveniently prejudiced as me and we don’t take a minute to pass judgments on people and end up widening the gaps which already exist!

I feel sick about being such a hypocrite.

my 100th post! :)

2008-09-05T03:01:00.017+05:30

Mai akela hi chala tha janib-e-manzil ki taraf,

Log aate gaye aur karwa banta gaya.

2yrs ago, when I was sitting in a lone cabin at the office where I did my summer training, the jobless me discovered blogs and the next thing I knew was that I signed up for blogger myself, totally clueless about the amount of good it would do to me one day.
For one I actually have something I simply love and am so regular at updating! :D otherwise there has hardly been anything which has held my interest for so long!

But the best part has been the amazing friends I have made here. People who have seen and helped me grow; who made sure I was smiling even on the worst of days; who gave me more than was ever expected of them without ever asking for anything in return. They inspired me to live better; made me feel loved and helped me see the best in me! :)

Its you guys who give “High on life” its real meaning!

So on my 100th post, there is no way that I am gonna miss an opportunity to tell all the friends I have made here, just how much they mean to me (in alphabetical order :P)

Akash- if not for you, I wouldn’t have respected my ownself!! Need I say more?
Annu- you inspire me to love with all my heart and give all that I have, happiness will sure be mine! :)
Bheja_fry_Abhishek- true to his own name, total bheja fry, my dose of cheap wit and out of the world jokes :P thank you for all the great laughs! ;)
Crazy_neha- “abuse-o-pedia”, she has one for every occasion! Babes you spice up life with all your craziness! Muwah!!
D_sinner_neha- bebeh you are a rockstar!! There is no way I can stay sad if I have u around to share my stupid issues with! Thanks for being so patient with me, always!:)
Echo- mirror mirror on the wall! :D yeah that’s who are to me babes, my own reflection-so much like me! And in your own little ways, u always have managed to give me more strength each time I read you :)
Geet- paaajiiiiii!! I already have told you a million times by now that you are the sister I never had! A true blessing in disguise. My boss in all our stupid lil adventures here :P, n a total rock star. If there is any one way I wanna live my life, it definitely is your way!! Muuuaaah!!
Gonecase_sid- total a-hole :P but I have to admit, you bring out the best in me, in those stupid lil fights which you always loose :P hugs!
Mann- my first ever blogger friend! :D most definitely the best and the strongest person I have ever known! Sweetheart, you’ve been my inspiration and somebody I’ve looked up to ever since I’ve known you! Love ya lots n lots!:)
Mia_my princess- :D babes you also know how contagious your smile and optimism and positive attitude are! Inne? You most definitely inspire me to keep going and find a reason to smile even in d worst of situations! Muah!
Rahul_in_a_crowded_city- I am sorry I don’t have words to describe the sweet friendship we share! Talking to you is like having my compulsory cup of coffee each day- I am totally addicted! N trust me, food tastes a lot better when I can tease you bout it :P hugs >:D<

Rohit- :P :P :P real life really feels like reel life now when I have you in it :)
Sachi- babes, you are like the last bite of maggi one would fight with their friends for! Absolutely delightful and a bundle of joy! You sure manage to make me smile!! Jhappi! ;)
Tanuj- again one of the first people I met here! :) The day we became friends I almost knew this blog is going to do me good :) you sure are the one who taught me, “now is not forever” and life is to be cherished and not wasted! :) hugs >:D<

Samby- miss ya lots bro :(

Others I completely adore include Aditi_jiggs, Anindita, Ayushi, Bulbul, Ceedy, Chacha_shek, Crazy_adi, Divkiran, Gagan, Girish, Hitesha, Jane, Keshi, Mayank, Monica, Pavi!!!, Pooja, Ria, Shatabdi, Solitaire, Vivek & Veens. - You guys in your own little ways have always made me smile :) thanks a tonn! big hugs >>D:<<

Now I am gonna wrap this up with lots of love n prayers for all you guys n a few lines which perfectly sum up what I feel for this blog!

“often I wish this would all be over, Liesel,
But then, somehow you do something like walk down
the basement steps with a snowman in your hands”
- The book thief

P.S.: guys there’s a small treat @ Ambrosia where I have a surprise dedication for each of you wonderful ppl on my blogroll!! Come join the party!! :D

zatTag!

2008-08-29T14:12:00.006+05:30

I picked this tag from aditi's wordpad:-

I am: confused about who I really am. I change very often.
I think: therefore I am.
I know: you will not read this post till the end.
I want: JimmyChoo’s ;)
I have: lots of love n luck :)
I wish: I had more love n more luck!! I know I’m so greedy :D
I hate: nothing at all! I became all that I hated, so I stopped hating.
I miss: the winter of 2007.
I fear: weekends when all my friends are busy at the same time :P
I hear: horns on the roads. Love em!! They shout out to me, that I am not alone!
I smell: like watermelons :) ( Arden Beauty)
I crave: shopping!! I can’t seem to have enough of it-ever!
I search: for real and true frandships on social networking sites.
I wonder: if there is a punishment for Adam teasing as well! Not that I wish to indulge in it, but I might if no one’s penalizing me for it.
I regret: being the last in line when god was giving out ‘sense of humor’ to the world.
I love: uncle chips!! :D
I ache: for a perfect body!!
I was not: the same person yesterday!
I am not: a pushover.
I cry: when I cannot make you cry!
I believe: India is a developing country!! :P wtf!
I dance: like a true Punjabi!
I sing: in the movie halls, even if that irritates people around me! :P
I read: what people learnt from their past relationships on their orkut profiles! So please update your profiles if u still haven’t! Someone genuinely cares :P
I don’t always: joke around! Someone please take me seriously!!!
I fight: for men’s rights!! (Only the sexy ones)
I write: love notes on walls of historic buildings!
I win: pillow fights on facebook!
I lose: my temper very easily!
I never: leave home without my sunglasses n mascara :P ( man I feel like sucha celebrity right now :P )
I always: look at what people on other tables have ordered before I order for myself!
I confuse: mostly myself!!
I listen: only when you talk sense.
I can usually be found: on gtalk! I know my life sucks! :P
I am scared: of global warming!! Or is it already passé?
I need: some money! Actually a lot of money for the JimmyChoo’s I mentioned above :P
I am happy: on Daughter’s day and Rakhi- two days when suddenly I’m really rich even if it isn’t my birthday :D
I imagine: your state if you’ve really read this post till this dot---> .

Net Gita

2008-08-24T21:12:00.002+05:30

I read this whenever I'm looking for answers:-

A fantastic conversation…

God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me : Called you? No.. who is this?
God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me : I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me : Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me : I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well I wanted to resolve your! fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me : Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me : why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me : But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me : But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty. .
God : Pain is inevitable able, but suffering is optional.
Me : If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me : You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me : But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you! are free from problems.
Me : Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me : Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me : In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me : What surprises you about people?
God : when they suffer they ask, 'why me?' When they prosper, they never ask 'Why me' Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me : Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can’t get the answer.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me : How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me : One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me : Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. 'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath

P.S: Thanks Geet for sharing this with me, and also helping me believe in it. God sure dint ping me, but he sent you for me:)

ladies night!

2008-08-18T04:37:00.003+05:30

This weekend I went for the much awaited movie of the year: Bachna Ae Hasino, starring ofcoz the hawt n sexy Ranbir Kapoor, with two sexy (Deepika n Bipasha) women and one obnoxious (Minisha) woman!

I’m not gonna review the movie; rather I have something more interesting to tell!
Now Ranbir, as is apparent from the promos and name of the movie, plays one of those stud types guy who gets all the hawt girls easily, and he doesn’t care much about them.

But there came a scene where he gets dumped by one of those three women, and all the young girls in the hall literally started clapping and hooting for the girl who dumped Ranbir!

Women love it when men, who are way above their league, are dumped n hurt by any other woman. It’s like a sweet revenge to them!
They might bitch about the sexier girls, hate them or curse them, but they treat them like a representative of woman kind when it comes to dumping or hurting the stud set! ;)

I am not judging, nor analyzing, neither am I complaining!! I am just loving it!!

I loved those cheers for a stronger woman. Gave me such a high!
I don’t know what was it, but I loved the feeling! :D

untitled!

2008-08-13T00:57:00.006+05:30

Once upon a time I believed in the Gandhian way of life.

Back then Howard Roark drove me crazy, inspired me so much.

Now I guess it was all because I was in love!

It gave me the strength to believe in superheroes; believe in the impossible!

काश यह ज़िन्दगी..

खेल ही खेल में खो गयी होती..

U've got the power!??

2008-08-08T02:04:00.003+05:30

These days’ people talk so much about stress, at home, at work, everywhere they go, in everything they do.
Recently I came across two people who told me they eat more when they are stressed out and now it’s like a stress buster! You’ve got trouble?? You’ll eat!!

Another one said shopping is her stress buster! Retail therapy gives her a high! (I know I’ve been spotted saying that too :P but for me its just another reason to shop! I love it so much, I’ll use any damn reason to go shop ;) )

But for people who use these and more such ways to keep stress at bay, I wonder how it works!
Is it like “oh see, I can eat whatever I want, as much I want and fuck myself!! I’VE GOT THE POWER”- dancing your way to an unhealthy life!!
Or may be “see I can shop, buy whatever I like, afford anything I fancy, even if I don’t need it!! See I can fuck my money and myself- I’VE GOT THE POWER!!”- dancing your way to a life on credit!!

I know the more learned ones are going to tell me about the chemicals our brain releases n bla bla but in the end all this is temporary happiness inne? It will end soon and leave us with bigger tensions about how royally we screwed our own selves!

Well I’ve got some nice gyan to give here but I think ill skip that. For somebody who wants to get into the “eating n cheating (food n luxury brands) business” it’s not a good idea to push away customers and diminish the market size!!

You got me right- somebody always benefits- no matter how bad a situation is!

HALF FULL :)

2008-08-02T23:50:00.002+05:30

I look around me…

There’s a man who never had a dream, circumstances made him look like a beggar and not a chooser, he took up what came his way, made it his dream to succeed in it and he did. He says he’s happy today!

Then there’s this girl, who wanted to be a doctor, parents, money, luck- pushed her into software, she smelled green ink, n stayed there!! I think she’s happy…she looks like that!!

There’s another one who wanted to teach French but got married and the dream was lost!! I can’t say if she’s happy, I never had d courage to ask!!

Another one left a high paying job to pursue his dream, he found success as well. I am sure he’s happy, I don’t need to ask!

There’s also, a man who has all d prestigious degrees in the country. But his marriage fell apart after 20 long years and two kids. Is there any meaning to his success?? I wonder what his dream really was!

And then there’s a girl who realized she never really wanted what she dreamt of all this while after having worked hard enough to make it true!

There are so many of them around me, most of them happy with what they have. Some think they couldn’t have gotten any better, the others just tell themselves they could have been worse and they should rather be thankful than crib!
Its amazing how so many of them never really had a dream!! And those who did, compromised on them for comforts! A handful of them fought only to realize later this isn’t what they really wanted. Some of them are still fighting, the rest are searching for new dreams.

I’m thinking, what are dreams for?? To fall back on when nothing else falls in place or to make sure they come true??

May be dreams are there to tell us that happiness is a choice we make, it doesn’t come as a result of certain dreams which come true, but with a decision, which we take to make sure we live well.