Nickel n dime me!

Living in the US without a dish TV connection can make you feel pretty disconnected from people back home in a very uselessly wasted way...if you know what I mean! Everybody I know has something to share about what's new on Indian TV channels. And in any conversation...I just hate to say I am clueless about the topic. I am no desi TV junkie but I watch anything that my brother or friends recommend. It somehow makes me feel more connected to my friends' world back in India. I like that.

So recently he asked me to watch this show called "Love 2 hate u". Totally seemed like one of those junk shows on mtv, but I still watched it. The show starts with a celebrity coming face to face with one of his/her biggest critics, and after that it just meanders through depths of sheer idiocy. No real result, just a silly hate-o-meter that the host abruptly ends the show with!

I happened to watch this one episode where a girl called herself the greatest critic of Chetan Bhagat. Loud disclaimer here - I do not appreciate his books in any way at all. So much that I did not mind giving away my copies of his books...which is extreme given that I don't even let anyone borrow my books. 

But I am not the kinds who easily criticizes anything publicly. Or at least I no longer do that. And I think I stopped doing that way before some other people my age did. In fact I have come to be a person who doesn't have very strong views about other people's business. I feel everyone has a place in this world. I might or might not like what they do...but I am definitely ok with them doing it. 

And today when I saw this girl bitterly criticizing this man for what he does, it filled me with pity for her. And then Chetan Bhagat said just what I could have never pointed out myself..."You can tell when someone is missing love in their life". Spot on. 

Love, I think has a lot to do with who I am now. It made me way more tolerant than I ever was. It made me look for the positive in everything. Of course I no longer get to enjoy heated discussions about "random stuff" or prove my point to anyone anymore but I guess I can live without it. Accepting that everyone is entitled to their opinion and 'love' more importantly, has set me free!

I felt pity for her because by being obsessed with her opinion and not willing to see anyone else's perspective, she is rejecting a lot of goodness and missing out on the most beautiful things in life.

Back when I was like her, I felt like I could stay happy with just a few people who really understood me and that will be enough for life. But I realized that by being open to people's beliefs and actions, I allowed myself to grow and fill my life with a lot of peace...which I absolutely treasure now. And my relationships feel just as meaningful as ever.

I know life doesn't always stay the same. Sometimes I wish I still had the energy to speak up against things I dislike, but in a more saner state, I am glad I don't. The last thing I want is to be a prisoner in my own head.

Its nice that people change. Some of us need it. 

sea salt soiree

Right now I really should be doing something else, which is much much more important. But as is characteristic of me...I am sitting here, talking about something useless on my mind.

A couple of months ago in Vegas we saw a blue man group show. Not one of those highly recommended things to do, but we still went because we could not get cirque du soleil  tickets. The show was ok, but there was a part of the act that was so profound that it has been etched in my mind forever.

Here it goes:-
The three main guys of the blue man group were standing on the stage with a set of huge placards each. The first placard for each man said "choose your placard right now- 1,2 or 3 and do not look at the other two cards after that. Continue to read just what is written on your chosen card."
So I chose number 2 and the man began revealing the whole set. He dropped the first card and there was some hello message on the card behind it. He dropped it again and the new one said "are you wondering what is on the other two cards?" The next one said"are you happy with your choice?" And again "are you wondering what would have happened, had chosen some other card?" and so on... What was on the rest of the pack is not important. It was just some joke, which I do not remember anymore.

But the first few ones did the trick for me. Isn't that how life is? You are faced with so many choices at each step. You consciously decide to pick a road for yourself. And then you always wonder..."what if?" rather than  live your own life happily?

I can't say it for you guys but I often get such thoughts. I do know the first rule for a happy life...to never compare yourself with other people, but I just can't stop doing it. Especially these days I'm always thinking what if I had done something else instead? Would I have had all that I have now and a little more? Perfect recipe for disaster inne?

I know what the right thing for me to do is now. I know all the gyan on earth about happy living. I just wanted to open my heart out, write this here and be done with it. Yes I am guilty of having such useless thoughts and creating all the stress that comes with it. Period.